Ask Us Anything
Crushing, Dating, and Everything in Between
It's the season of love…cupids, hearts, schmoopy poems. So where do you stand? Are you in love? In like? None of the above? All is fair in love and war so ask us anything about your crush, your love life, or anything in between.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Is it a good idea to go to college together?
Choosing a college is a tough decision without even factoring in another person. It can be hard to separate yourself from your boyfriend—especially when you’ve been together for so long—but it’s really important that you go to a school that’s right for you. Maybe you’re both already set on the same school, but you need to try to look at schools without thinking about your relationship. College is a great opportunity to specialize in something you love and your academics and your future need to come before your boyfriend. Pick the school that’s best for you and if it happens to be the same school as your boyfriend, that’s awesome! If not, have a conversation about long distance. It’s tough, but it’s possible, especially if you have three years of foundation in your relationship.I find this helpful
This guy is flirting with me and I have a boyfriend. What should I do?
Unwanted flirting can be a challenge. If this guy is misinterpreting friendship as flirting, try nicely letting him know that you value him as a friend, but are committed to your boyfriend. If he is making you uncomfortable or does not stop after you ask, you might want to get a friend or trusted adult involved. If you find yourself tempted to flirt back, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. People do grow apart and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not fair to stay in a relationship if you’re starting to feel interested in someone else.I find this helpful
My girlfriend and I live only 10 miles away, but we haven't been able to see each other in real life yet. We want to get together, but the same things that have kept us apart (lack of independent transport, homosexual relationship, overprotective parents) are going to continue to keep us apart. Is there anything we can do?
Long distance relationships can be hard, even when you’re geographically close to one another. It might be a good idea to have a conversation with a trusted adult if you don’t feel comfortable going to your parents with this. It wasn’t clear from your letter whether or not your parents know about the relationship or your sexual identity, but it might be a good idea to involve an adult in this simply because they may be able to provide more guidance specific to your situation. You might want to check out this website for more resources on LGBTQ relationships and how to talk to your parents about it. If you two have not yet met in person, it might be a good idea to find a public place—like the mall or a restaurant that is between your houses—for your first meeting. You also might want to consider making it a group hang out. It’s not ideal if you’re meeting up with someone you’re dating, but it might make your parents more comfortable with the idea, which would be a great first step.I find this helpful
My friend has a sexual relationship with this person, and she always freaks out whenever he doesn't text her back right away. It's starting to really bother her, but I have no clue how to help her because they're not in a real relationship. What do I tell her?
It can be really difficult to hook up with someone without a label. It’s awesome you’re there for your friend in this situation, but you’re right, it’s hard to know how to help. It sounds like your friend has to have a “define the relationship” talk with this guy because it sounds like she might be more invested in the relationship than he is. As her friend you can suggest she talk to this guy about their relationship expectations and continue to show her support no matter what the outcome of the conversation is.I find this helpful
I'm always arguing with my crush, and he always wins... Is that a sign of an unhealthy relationship?
Constantly arguing can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship, especially if it’s affecting the rest of your life. If your crush “always wins” these fights you guys might not be fighting fair. Consider having a conversation with him about why you guys are always at odds. That might help relieve some tension between you, but don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. If you ever feel unsafe around this guy, you should talk about it with a trusted adult or a friend that can help. You should be with someone who makes you feel loved and appreciated—if that’s not the case with this guy, it might be time to go your separate ways. For more resources about unhealthy relationships, check out the resources at LoveIsRespect.Org.I find this helpful
I have a crush on a close friend. I think he might like me back, but my parents said they would rather I wouldn't date until I finish high school (3 yrs). If I wait until graduation will I be 'permanently friend-zoned'? What do I do?
There’s no rule that says waiting to get into a relationship will get you “permanently friend-zoned,” but it’s also possible that this guy will date someone else in the next three years. Since he’s a close friend he probably knows that your parents won’t let you date, which might be why he hasn’t said anything. It can be really difficult to figure out where you stand in the gray area between friendship and relationship. The only way to know for sure what’s going on in his mind is to ask. It might feel awkward, but it should clear up any tension between the two of you.
As for dating, it’s not a good idea to go behind your parents’ back, but that doesn’t mean that the topic has to be off the table. Let them know that you want to talk to them about having a bit more responsibility and calmly lay out your reasons for wanting to date. See if you can make a compromise—having your parents meet the guy first or going out on a group date—may make them more comfortable. They could still say no, but it’s good to let them know what you’re thinking and to be honest about what you want.
I made out with my friend's ex, and she confronted us. What should I do?
Getting between a friend and her ex can be a tricky situation and she’s probably feeling really hurt. She might think it’s too soon or her ex is off-limits, but the only way that you can know for sure what she’s thinking is to have an honest conversation with her. It’s tempting to hide your actions to protect your friend, but it can hurt even more if she finds out from someone else—which it sounds like she might have. Exes don’t have to be off-limits forever, but you owe it to your friend to be honest and figure out together if she can be okay with the hookup. If she still has feelings for her ex, you might need to decide if the new relationship is worth losing a friendship.I find this helpful
This guy shows signs of flirting with me all the time (long eye contact, practical jokes, and Snapchat streaks). I’ve really liked him since the first day of school this year and now I find out I'm moving this summer. Should I go for it or not?
If you guys are crushing on each other then you should go for it—but you might want to set some ground rules first. You know that you’re moving over the summer, so it might be a good idea to talk about what you want out of the relationship to avoid hurt feelings. If you’re both comfortable with something short-term that’s totally okay, but make sure he knows that you’re moving because you guys should be on the same page before you jump into a relationship.I find this helpful
I've heard that you're not supposed to get a salad on a date. But, I ate a lot of unhealthy food that day and I was in the mood for something healthy. Is it still rude to get a salad even if you really wanted one?
Not at all! Get what you want to eat on a date, if the person you’re dating has a problem with it they aren’t worth your time.I find this helpful
How do I tell if he likes me? Do I even like him or am I just fooling myself? I've never dated before, how do I ask people out? When is the right time to do it? He sat next to me the other day, it was great. I think he might know I like him... What do I do???
Talking to guys can be stressful af. If you're nervous don't go straight into asking him how he feels. Be casual and start out by talking about something you have in common like a class you share or a TV show you both like. Even if it seems a little bit awkward, that might be the best way to start a conversation with this guy. From there you can work your way up to asking him out! When you're ready just remember to be straightforward and honest so there's no chance for confusion.I find this helpful
I like this girl and we were dating, but her parents forced us to break up. We still love each other and I gave her a ring promising I would wait for her. But I am confused if I am in a relationship or not.
It can be really difficult to figure out where you stand in the grey area between friendship and relationship. The only way to know for sure what’s going on in her mind is to ask. It might feel awkward, but it should clear up any tension between the two of you.
As for dating, it’s not a good idea to go behind her parents’ back, but that doesn’t mean that the topic has to be off the table. Perhaps the two of you could let her parents know that you want to talk to them about your relationship and calmly lay out your reasons for wanting to date. See if you can make a compromise like going out on a group date may make them more comfortable. They could still say no, but it’s good to let them know what you’re thinking and to be honest about what you want.
I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks and I'm happy with him, but how do I keep things interesting? I'm pretty shy and quiet compared to him. I really like him more than I thought I would, I don't want to loose him.
While it's natural to feel a little insecure (especially in a new relationship) you should take time to talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling rather than worrying about him silently. Then the two of you should plan some dates together, explore similar interests and try new things. The longer you spend together the more comfortable you'll feel around him.I find this helpful
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and I've posted so much stuff about us and made it clear to everyone that we're together, but he doesn't do that. He has never posted anything about us, on his Instagram it just looks like he's single, and he talks to a lot of girls, but swears he's not doing anything. What does that mean? Does he still love me? Is he embarrassed by me?
You should talk to your boyfriend (calmly and without any accusations) about how his actions make you feel. Get his perspective on his actions. Does he just not feel the need to post as much as you? Does he prefer to post about his hobbies? You won't know until you ask, which is why communication is so important in relationships.I find this helpful
I'm a sophomore and I have a gigantic crush on one of my junior friends. We've lived on the same street all of our lives, but only discovered each other's existence a few years ago. We are have two classes together and have been in a lot of time-consuming extracurricular activities together. We became good friends last year, as well as with his freshman sister, but mid-September, something just "clicked" and I was attracted to nearly everything about him; his kindness, his smile, his intelligence, his laugh, his talents, his hair, even his scent. After that, I would be too nervous to talk to him as much, but I'd feel super jealous when he would talk with other girls. What's worse, our mothers are friends and they know, and basically ship us together, but he is either clueless or disinterested. I already got him a birthday present for the 17th of this month, and I'm debating on whether to tell him how I feel about him when I give it to him. I'm just not sure what to do.
While it's scary af to talk to someone you like when you're not sure of how they feel about you, it's also the only way you're going to find out how he feels. If you're too nervous you could write something in his card and attach it to the present. That would also give him a chance to read about your feelings and process them in his own time before giving you his answer.I find this helpful
How do I start a conversation with someone if we go to different schools and really I know nothing much about him? My friends just say I should "say something funny" and I don't know how to do that.
Saying something funny is definitely good advice. Are you friends with him on social media? Can you see if you have anything in common? Guys and girls aren’t really that different deep down. If you think this guy's cool, you can get to know him better without flirting or cracking jokes. You can talk with him about classes, movies, or music. You can ask him about his hobbies, his weekends, or his family. Flirting is not the only tool you have in your arsenal to make someone want to get to know you better.
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There's a guy, and I like him a lot, but I don't want to screw anything up. He's very sweet, polite, and shy, and he's tried to hold my hand and kiss my cheek before, and I've let him. Does this mean he likes me?
It sounds like he does! If you don't like him/want to date him be careful not to raise his hopes too much. But if you want to date, now it's time for the "define the relationship" talk. When you've made a decision just remember to be straightforward and honest so there's no chance for confusion.I find this helpful
My crush said he likes me a month ago. I said that I liked him too and asked if he wanted us to start a relationship. He said he'd think about it, but it's been a month. So what do I do? Assume that he doesn't like me and move on? Bring it up again? Help!
What you do depends on what you want. Are you still interested in dating him? Has his month's silence put you off? If you still want to be with him it's worth bring it up again. Be open, calm, and honest so that there's no room for confusion or for him to avoid answering you. But prepare yourself for him to say he's not interested. If he doesn't want to date make sure you take care of yourself, self care is no joke!I find this helpful
I just found out today that my BF is bisexual. I don't mind that he likes guys too, but I feel...threatened? Like I have to fight to have him to myself? Doesn't help that he keeps joking about "finding a guy and a girl, and him taking the guy and me the girl." It hurts that he'd suggest, even as a joke, having sex with another person. And he knows for a fact that I'm straight, so that second bit is slightly insulting to me. I just feel hurt and really confused...
Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you feel when he makes these jokes? If not, it's time to sit down and have a conversation. Don't accuse him of anything, stay calm, and use "I" statements. Even though these conversations are hard, it's important to be direct so there's no confusion.I find this helpful
A really great girl expressed her interest in me and then I asked her out. We've been dating for about a month. She's very outgoing and I feel like I know her really well already. I'm much more introverted and it takes me a while to really become close with people. I'm trying hard and I feel like we have a good, close relationship, but should I be worried about whether or not I'm expressing myself enough to make her understand that I really enjoy spending time with her?
It sounds like you have nothing to worry about, but if you'd rather elimiate all possiblity of confusion you could always just tell her how you feel. That way she'll know for sure and you can also have a chance to ask her if there's anything you're not doing and then share with her anything that you'd like!I find this helpful
I am a freshman in high school and I have recently started having a crush a boy I've known all my life. We have never been really good friends, but we still have casually talked. We have both said that we like each other. His parents know that we have thing, but my parents don't. I feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about it because I am not one of those people that is super close with their parents. Plus, I have two older sisters that are also in high school and they have never even mentioned boys to my parents. I don't really want things to get weird with my parents. How do I tell them that I like this guy and have them respect that I want to start dating?
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot— it’s definitely hard to talk to your parents if you’re afraid that they might not approve of your relationship! The best thing that you can do is to have an open and honest conversation with your parents. Ask them where their heads are at when it comes to you (and your sisters) having relationships. Are they nervous because it’s new? Do they have any serious reservations? It might feel awkward or scary, but answering your parent's questions first might be the way to go in this situation. Just remember, it’s really important to stay calm when you’re talking about this stuff so that it doesn’t turn into an argument. It's also a great way to show your parents that you're mature and ready to start dating. Balancing relationships and family can be tough, but being open about what’s going on can make things a lot easier!I find this helpful
How can you tell if a guy is flirting or it is just his personality?
Unfortunately, the only way to know for sure is to ask. You can also ask yourself some questions. Does he seem to go out of his way to talk to you? Does it seem like he tries to make conversations last longer? Do you guys have a snap streak or does he like all your Instragram posts? Otherr signs of flirting sometimes include prolongued eye contact, little touches (like touching your shoulder or lower back), and inside jokes.I find this helpful
I am friends with a girl on Facebook that I really like and I have only talked to her a couple of times. I really want to start talking to her on Facebook and then in person, but I have no idea what to say.
If you’ve only talked on Facebook, it can be hard to really know a person, especially if you don’t really get to see her in your daily life. Like or comment on something she’s posted recently that you find interesting! Common interests are the best way to strike up a conversation, especially when you’re first getting to know someone. If she goes to your school, it might be tempting to strike up a conversation online instead of in person, and that’s totally fine! Ask about a class that you both have or see what she thinks about something that’s happening at your school. Ask her questions about herself and you’ll be able to see if you have things in common.I find this helpful
I have a crush and he always looks at me no matter where we are. I asked him out he did not say anything, he's always shy around me doesn't talk to me, but he told my friend that he likes me. Whenever I get around him my heart starts beating really fast and I can't breathe. What does it mean?
It sounds like you really like this guy, but aren’t sure how he feels. If you’ve already asked him out and he didn’t answer, it might be a good idea to give him a little space to figure out what he wants. It’s really tough to be in this gray area of a relationship, and if you’ve already given him time to think about it, it’s totally fair to ask him if he’s come to a decision. Approach it gently, but if you guys are already friends, you might both have concerns about a relationship that you want to address. A really common concern for people going from friendship to relationship is maintaining the friendship that brought you guys together in the first place. If you have an honest conversation and get all of your concerns out in the open, it will be better for your relationship in the long run, whether you decide to stay friends or begin dating.I find this helpful
I've been talking to this guy for almost a month now. We've gone on one date and are planning another. The problem is, he's a really nice guy, and for some reason I always have difficulty liking the nice type. He's really intelligent and can be funny, both of which I value. But whenever it gets to around the 2nd or 3rd date with these types of guys, I flee because I just get turned off by their almost too nice traits, which doesn't make sense. There's also a lack of flirting and I haven't felt a spark, which is giving me this preconceived idea that we won't be sexually compatible. Am I not giving it enough time? Is my fleeing habit an issue, or am I reasonably picky?
It’s great that you’re giving people a chance, and it’s important to keep in mind that relationships, particularly in middle and high school, aren’t always like the ones you see on TV or in movies. You don’t always feel a spark right away or meet someone you think you could spend the rest of your life with, which is totally normal. Maybe you could give these relationships more time, but if you’re feeling uncomfortable or you don’t like being around the guy, then it’s definitely okay to end things. It’s possible that you just haven’t found the right guy for you yet—and that’s completely okay! It’s better to be single than to be dating someone that you don’t like that much.I find this helpful
I've had a huge crush on this guy for over a year and nothing has happened between us. I don't know what he thinks of me, or if he has feelings for me, and I can't talk to him without getting really nervous. What should I do about it?
Crushes can be time-consuming and if this crush is starting to affect other areas of your life or make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it might be time to say something to this guy. Think of how nice it will feel to have something that’s been weighing on you for a year to get off your chest. It will probably feel really scary and might make you nervous to bring something up, but the only way to get a definite answer is to ask. It doesn’t have to be a high pressure conversation, just see if you can talk to him alone at some point and say how you’ve been feeling lately. It’s possible that he doesn’t feel the same way, but knowing is always better than not knowing. It might be really tough to hear, and it’s totally okay to be upset because you’ve invested so much time in this, but you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you, and finding out where his head is at can help you to move on. You never know—he might feel the same way and be too shy to say anything!I find this helpful
My boyfriend and I are both sophomores. He is 16 and I am 15. Neither of us has had our first kiss yet. When would a good time for that to happen be? I want to but im not sure if he is ready yet. We've been dating for three months, is it too early?
There’s no timeline for getting physical in a relationship—it all depends on what you guys are comfortable with. If you guys are both comfortable with kissing, then there’s no reason not to go for it! You both might feel better if you have a conversation about it. Honest communication is super important in relationships, and talking about how you both feel will put you guys on the same page and help you figure out when you’ll both feel ready.I find this helpful
How do I make someone like me if they don't like me back?
There’s no way to make someone like you if they don’t. It seems like it would make everything a lot easier sometimes if there were something you could do to make your crush notice you, but in reality, you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who likes you for being you. Crushes are really hard, but sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that someone doesn’t like you and move on to someone new. There is someone out there who will like you just as much as you like them, without you having to convince them!I find this helpful
I've had a crush on this guy for over a year and I think he likes me, but I can't quite tell. How can I tell?
Crushes are tough, especially if you’ve been crushing on a guy for a while. It can be really frustrating if you’re not sure how the other person feels, especially if they give you mixed signals. It can be really scary, but the only way to know for sure how this guy feels is to ask him. You don’t have to make it a high pressure conversation, but try to be honest with him about how you’re feeling, and that you still want to be friends no matter what. He might not feel the same way, but at least you’ll know for sure! You might be nervous as you’re telling him, but it will be a relief to finally talk about the crush you’ve had for so long and to know for sure where you stand with this guy so that you can move forward.I find this helpful
How do I ask a girl out face to face?
Asking someone out can be really scary. If you’re not comfortable just walking up to this girl and asking her on a date, you can try to relate it to something else that you guys are already talking about. If you have a class together, you could ask her if she’d like to study with you, or come over and watch the movie version of the novel you’re reading in English class. If you’re worried about a date being a lot of pressure, invite her to do something with a group of friends. Ice skating or sledding can be really fun this time of year, but any group activity will do. That gives you the chance to hang out in a low pressure setting, and you’ll have a great opportunity at the end to ask her to hang out again (just the two of you)!I find this helpful
I like this boy and he is really funny sweet and soooooo kind. But I also like my ex still. What do I do?
It sounds like you might need to take some time to yourself to think about what you’re really looking for in a relationship. Is there a good reason why you and your ex broke up? You need to figure out whether you want to give the same type of relationship another chance, or if you should try something new. There’s no right or wrong answer—you really need to figure out what’s best for you!I find this helpful
How can I find out if the other person likes me without him/her knowing ?
This is a tough one. You could ask one of their friends if they know anything, but getting other people involved can make things kind of messy. If you don’t want to come right out and ask this person how they’re feeling, you can make an effort to spend more time with them and try to figure out their feelings as your friendship develops. The only way to know 100% how they’re feeling is to ask, even though it can be nerve wracking.I find this helpful
How do you know when it's the right time to start dating?
Start by asking yourself the tough questions that only you can answer. What are my motivations for wanting to start dating? What do I need emotionally from my partner? How do I want to feel around a potential partner? It’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, so don't rush yourself as you answer them.I find this helpful
Hi there! So here's my little problem: I recently got a gym membership and when I got signed up, they offered a 6 session personal training program to get started. My mom signed me up and the trainer I got was named Kyle. Throughout our sessions, I began to develop a crush however, it's not like I want a romantic relationship with him because of our age gap. The issue is that I'm 15 and he's 27. Not only is he super attractive from the outside, but he has a great personality too. Eventually we finished our training and now I go work out on my own and see him there all the time. I can't help but find myself staring at him. He gave me his Instagram and You Tube channel that has a bunch of educational fitness things on them he makes himself (not to mention with out a shirt, haha!) I'm a quiet person and I get all nervous when he comes to chat with me. My friend also trained with him and I usually feel more comfortable talking with him when she's around. Although, she sees him more as an older brother figure while I can't help but have a crush. I'll admit that I'm guilty of social media stalking him. And drawing us together because I'm an artist. Do you have any advice at all? I just really needed to talk to someone about this...
It's normal to feel admiration for anyone who's had a big impact on your life or who has charicteristics that you admire. But it sounds like you know that the age gap between you is too much. Enjoy your crush, know that it's normal, but look for a relationship with someone close to your age. You'll find more satisfaction by exploring a relationship with your peers as you have similar life experiences and interests. You can learn and grow with them.I find this helpful
So this dude and I were friends in high school, but I had a crush on him sophomore year (not sure if he knew or not). We never became a thing though. He had a girl his senior year (my junior year) and then he graduated. They dated June 2017 and broke up April 2018. He lost his virginity to her and vis versa. So in June 2018, he wanted to hang out so I skipped school to go to the movies with him. I didn't like him as much during this time. We were hanging out in the theaters and I put my legs on his to get comfortable. He ended up putting his hand on my thighs, raising it up closer and closer to my vagina with every passing second. He ended up fingering me in the theatre and I didn't stop him. (Sometimes, I wonder what would be different if I didn't put my legs on his. Would he still have did what he did? Was that the only reason why he even invited me? After our "date," he kept texting me in a sexual manner and I played along. He wanted to go on another date, but BAILED last minute because his check hadn't come in and he wanted to pay. After that, he stopped talking to me for months until one day he texted me saying the only reason he hadn't texted me was because he was upset with himself or bailing on me and thought I was still mad. We began talking again as friends, but it wasn't long until he brought the sexual content back into our conversation. He then asked if we can hang out at his apartment at his college. At this time, I'm a freshman in college and he's a sophomore in college. We hang out and then he puts a blanket our the two of us and wraps his arm over and me OUT OF NOWHERE starts kissing my neck, chest, and lips. Things get intense and I'm not sure how to react. I mean I used to like this dude and here he is kissing me. So I kissed back. He took me to his bed and asked if I wanted to... you know. (He thinks I'm a virgin because the last we talked, I was. But I lost it over the summer). I say idk at first and he kisses me and later on ask again to make sure. I nodded yes. and we did it. Twice in one night. The morning after was normal as if we hadn't had rough sex the night before. That was on Oct. 14, I visited again Nov. 16 (on my period) to see if it was possible for us to hang out as friends using my period as a barrier. He ended up asking if we could do it in the shower and I stupidly said sure. I also ended up giving him oral sex because of course my vagina was "Out Of Order." Now, idk what to do. I have feeling for this guy. I shouldn't be giving him my all if I want him as more than a fuck buddy. I either want to forget all about him or have him love me. I also want to stop saying yes to all the kinky shit he's into. What should I do?
It sounds to us like you and this guy are on different pages and you're already on the right path by recognizing that you're not 100% on him right now.
To find out if you're interested in the same things you're going to have to talk to him and be honest about your feelings. In order to do that, you're going to need to sit yourself down with either some trusted friends or a journal and figure out what you want from him and/or what you want from any relationship. Being honest with your partners is important but being honest with yourself is more important.
Here's an exercise you can do that will hopefully help you:
- Write down all of the characteristics your ideal partner has (height, hair color, sense of humor, hobbies, etc.)
- Write down all of the experiences that your ideal relationship has (dates you want to go on, trips you want to take, skills you'd like to learn, etc.)
- Write down the characteristics this guy has and your experiences with him so far
- Now compare your lists.
Ultimately, you've got the reigns and you should accept the love and the sex that you think you deserve.
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There's this girl I really really like. It's been destroying me for so long. If I was confident in myself, I would go talk to her. Unfortunately, I am extremely shy, and can never find the confidence to try and talk to her. I just freeze up. Also, it may just be wishful thinking, but sometimes I'll notice her kinda looking at me or something. But she is a very confident person, so if she actually liked me she would have talked to me by now, so it's probably all in my head. Anyway, what should I do?
Talking to your crush is always a stressful experience, even if you're a confident person. So I wouldn't say that just because your crush hasn't talked to you it means she doesn't like you. Instead of trying to flirt or straight up asking her out, why don't you try being casual and talk about something you have in common like a class you share or a TV show you both like. Or maybe you'd feel more comfortable hanging out and trying to talk to her amongst a group of friends!I find this helpful
What do I do if I really like a boy in my class and he never looks at me?
Do you have any friends in common? If you do could you arrange to hang out with them when you know he'll be around too? Or you could try striking up a conversation with him before class to learn more about him and see if you have anything in common.I find this helpful
How do you know if you crush likes you back?
Great question! There isn't one way to know for sure unless you feel comfortable directly asking your crush if they like you and telling them how you feel.
At their core they should be kind to you. They should show an interest in what you're saying and maybe seem like they're finding reasons to hang out around you (either in a group or one on one). If they seem shy and don't talk to you very much, try starting a conversation with them. Some people get nervous around their crushes so try and help them out! Ask them about their favorite shows, sports team, or other interests and see what you two have in common.
If they're receptive to you, but after a while it seems like you're the only one putting in effort you might want to stop and consider if it's worth continuing building a relationship. You should spend your time and energy on someone who reciprocates your interest with equal enthusiasm. Everyone has different ways of showing they care, but in the end you should both be putting in effort.I find this helpful
I have had a crush on a boy for three months, but we're in different classes at school. Even though I'm very nervous I want to tell him how I feel. How do I do that?
The best way to tell someone you like them is to be honest and direct. Find a time when the two of you are relatively alone and tell him that you're interested in going out to get to know one better. My fingers are crossed for you that he says yes!I find this helpful
Ok so I dm'd this guy and basically told him he was cute. I didn't even expect him to respond, but he said thank you with some cute emojis. The next thing I knew, he added me on Snapchat. So obviously he's somewhat interested (right?). I waited for him to say something on Snap, but he didn't. So I decided to send him a streak and he left me on open. So I just said to myself, maybe he doesn't do streaks or maybe he just doesn't want to. I WANT to talk to him. So how do I start talking to him? What should I say?
Talking to guys can be really hard. Everyone likes to talk about things that they enjoy, and even if it seems a little bit awkward, that might be the best way to start a conversation with this guy. If you know of a class that you have together, a sports team that you both root for, or a TV show that you both obsess over, try snapping him about those things to see if he's more likely to engage in a conversation. But remember, there’s no way to make someone like you—and besides, you deserve to be with someone who likes you for you (without having to convince them)!I find this helpful
I just broke up with my bf, and my ex best friend's ex just asked me out. Help please!
Do you know if you're intersted in reconnecting with your ex best friend. If you think that's a possiblity in the future, it might not be smart to start something with their ex no matter how you feel about them. If you don't think that you and your ex best friend are going to become friends again then it's up to you whether or not you like their ex and if you want to try date them. Good luck!I find this helpful
So my crush forgot one of his things in school and I found it, so I gave it to my friend. My friend told him that I picked it up, when he reacted, he reacted with a smile and got a little red, what does that mean?
Hi There! Great question, crushes can be fun and exciting, but they are most definitely confusing too! Unfortunately, the only way to know for sure is to ask. If you’re nervous about talking to a guy that you like, try to find something that you have in common, whether it’s a class that you have together, a sports team that you both root for, or a TV show that you both obsess over. It might seem cheesy, but that’s really the best way to strike up a conversation. Everyone likes to talk about things that they enjoy, and even if it seems a little bit awkward, that might be the best way to start a conversation with this guy.
You can also ask yourself some questions. Does he seem to go out of his way to talk to you? Does it seem like he tries to make conversations last longer? Do you guys have a snap streak or does he like all your Instragram posts?
I find this helpful
Why am I still freaking single? I AM DESPERATE. Jk. But answer please.
Being single, especially if your friends are in relationships, can be super tough. While it's hard advice to follow, the best thing you can do is not to focus just on your singledom. Everyone is different and has a different pace, so don’t judge yourself by what other people are doing. And remember, your life doesn't get automatically better when you're in a relationship. Being in a relationship has its perks, but so does being single.I find this helpful
All my close friends are all in relationships and I feel really lonely what do I do?
That's a crappy feeling, and unfortunately, even as you get older it doesn't go away. Have you tried to talk to your friends and explain that you're feeling a little left out? It can be easy to get caught up in a relationship (especially when it's new) so they might not even realize that they've left you behind a little. Ask about setting aside some time just for you and them, no SOs allowed. And when you're not hanging out with your friends try using your free time to focus on a new or neglected hobby. Have you always wanted to learn the guitar? Or finally beat Super Smash Bros? Here's your chance to do that! Learning how to love yourself is a great first step to learning how to love someone else. By focusing on yourself in a positive way now, when you do get into a relationship you'll have a solid foundation to build from.I find this helpful
What happens if I kissed a girl?
How exciting! The answer to your question depends on what you and the girl you kissed want to happen next. Sometimes people kiss and that's it, sometimes kissing leads to other physical behavior, and sometimes people end up in a relationship after they kiss. Think about what you want and then talk to the girl to see what she wants. Hopefully you two are on the same page, but if not a quick and honest conversation explaining why you feel how you do should straighten things out.I find this helpful
I have a crush who was my friend and we used to talk in car riders. Now he rides the bus and I don't see him until 8th period. (I have block scheduling). And I can't have a boyfriend, but I talk to him on the phone when I can. My best-friend asked him if he liked me and he said no. What should I do?
There’s no way to make someone like you—and besides, you deserve to be with someone who likes you for you (without having to convince them)! If you’re already friends with this guy, you could bring up the topic of moving from a friendship to a relationship, although if he's already told your bff that he doesn't like you, that might not work out in your favor. It doesn’t have to be a high pressure conversation, and it doesn’t have to change your friendship, but if want to hear for yourself how he’s feeling, the best thing that you can do is just ask.I find this helpful
Is it wrong for me to like my bff's cousin? We are bffs on Snapchat and always talk. We joke around, we say "aw you like me," and then we laugh. But sometimes we are serious and don't talk about it much. His siblings are always messing with me and him about liking each other. They say that he talks about me and what he's going to say to me. When we see each other (he lives an hour and a half away) we always hangout and talk. I don't know if he likes me though I like him. He always starts the conversations firsts and gets sad when I don't reply.
It does sound like this boy likes you. Crushes can be fun and exciting, but they are most definitely confusing too! The only way to know for sure how he’s feeling is to ask, even though it can be a little scary to bring that topic up.
There's nothing wrong with having an interest in your bff's cousin, but if you're worried that your bff won't be ok with it, you should talk to them as well. Explain that you like him, that you want to know if he likes you back, and that if he does, you'd like to see how it goes. Good luck!I find this helpful
How do i know if I'm ready for a bf? PS I'm gay.
That's a great question! Knowing whether you're ready to have a relationship can be tough to judge. If you're feeling pressure from friends to date try not to let them get to you. Being nervous about having a boyfriend is totally normal, but you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel straight up uncomfortable.
Do you have your eye on someone in particular? If you do, ask him if he wants to hang out and see how you feel when you're with him. Are you laughing and having a good time together? Do you have a lot to talk about? Do you want to text and Snap with him when you're not hanging out? Those are all good signs that you're interested in dating.
Dating isn't a lifetime committment, so remember you can go on a date and decide that you don't like the guy or that you're not yet ready.I find this helpful
What does it mean when your crush acts like he likes you, but then asks another girl to the dance? Right before he asked her we made eye contact for like 8 seconds. And for the past 2 weeks he's been acting like he likes me.
It may be that he does like you, but isn't sure how you feel and so he asked someone that he knew would say yes. Or it could be that he likes both you and the other girl at the same time and isn't sure who he likes more.
The only way to know for sure how he’s feeling is to ask, even though it can be a little scary to bring that topic up. It doesn’t have to be a high pressure conversation, but if you’re dying to know how he’s feeling, the best thing that you can do is just ask.I find this helpful
I am a minor and I'm am attracted to guys older to me. Its not because I have "daddy issues" I just find them more mature and interesting and not as immature. Now, don't get me wrong there are 23 year old's who act like their 15 but generally they've grown out of that phase. I also think older men are more stable and their feelings aren't all over the place because their brain is more developed. Do you have any advice to help me cope and help me get over this feeling. many girls my age like the boys in high school and date in their age range but I feel like an Alien for feeling this way. Any suggestions? - thoroughly confused
Kuddos to you for being honest with yourself, and reflecting enough to recognize your desires. It's completely understandable to feel alienated when your preferences don't fit the 'norm.' However, it's good to recognize that while you admire the qualities that older men possess, it's probably not for the best to act on those interests. Healthy relationships can exist when there is an age gap, however, it is important especially in your youth and throughout your young adult years to date someone who can grow with you and shares similar life experiences, so you can go through them together.
I'm really, really confused right now. I liked this guy and he liked me back, but he never asked me out and didn't really commit to me, even after giving him a chance to change. So I ended our "relationship." At first I was happy, but now I feel like there's a hole in my heart, and that i might still like him. Right now we're pretty good friends. Is he worth going back to? Or should we just stay friends?
Heartbreak is never easy or simple. Putting yourself out there, being honest with others, and giving something an opportunity to grow is hard and it doesn't always work out - and that's okay. Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is the best way to move closer to a fulfilling relationship. You've now learned stuff about yourself, about what you want in a partnership, and what you want going forward.
Here's four things to think about when considering if you want to get back with him:
- Do you have a break up/make up pattern?
- Has your ex changed?
- Have you changed?
- Is this a case of absence making the heart grow fonder?
I have a crush on a girl and I know she likes me too even though she didn't tell me. I can see it in her eyes and her friends keep calling me for no reason. but my problem is my best friend likes her too, he tried to ask her out but she keeps ignoring my friend. What should I do? It's really difficult in this situation.
So sorry to hear that you're in this spot! Just remember that while crushes may come and go friendship is about loyalty, mutual respect, and support. Talk to a friend or a trusted adult about this and try to be a the kind of friend you would want in your life to your friends. Try to respond with empathy, by putting yourself in other shoes and showing kindness whenever possible.I find this helpful
I have a crush on a guy from sport. He is embarrassing at times and a little fat. He wears pants that drag along the ground and does things to public which embarrass me. I can’t stop thinking about him though. Do I take a chance and date him or walk away?
Thanks for writing in! Consider reflecting on what is really important to you here, it sounds like you like this person, but are afraid of how you might be perceived in public if you are with him. Think about why this matters to you. Perhaps try and spend more time with this person, see if your feeling are returned, and even start a friendship. The more you learn about him the less embarrassed you may find yourself, you might even be ashamed that you ever felt this way. Just remember to try and be kind to others and yourself!I find this helpful
On New Year’s Eve I was at a party and I kissed my friends ex boyfriend. She found out and is now very mad at me and called me a slut. I really want her to forgive me, but she is also over reacting about it in my opinion. I think I have liked the guy for a few months now even when they were dating. The girl doesn’t know I do. I want to be friends with her again, but I don’t think she will forgive me. I need advice on what I should do about the guy and how the get my friend back.
Thanks for writing in! This is definitely a tough situation to be in! Consider reflecting on what your priorities are going forward, try and respond to your friend with empathy. Try putting yourself in her shoes, with a clear mind so you can respond effectively while respecting yourself and your friends. If you really want to be with this boy, express this to your friend - knowing that you might lose the friendship. Trust your gut, and be kind to yourself throughout this process. If you need a breather from the turbulence, invest your time and energy with trusted friends and activities that you enjoy.I find this helpful
How can I get my boyfriend to trust me and talk to me more about what's going on?
What is my relationship style?
Thanks for writing in! This is a complicated question, a lot of online quizes will tell you what your love language is (which can be helpful for understanding yourself and how to communicate with others) or what your personality type is or if you're compatible with your partner. But, the truth is no two relationships are the same so you won't have a set "style." Treat yourself and others with compassion and encourage open communication in your partnerships, learn what works best for you, your needs and the needs of your partner so that you can meet them empathetically and effectively.I find this helpful
I'm depressed because no one at my school will date me and I do not like being single. I'll date a guy then he'll either cheat on me or dump me three days later. :( - Teenage girl in 8th grade. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
Being single can feel very hard sometimes, but there's no quick fix to magic up a boyfriend or a girlfriend. All you can do is treat yourself and others with compassion and encourage open communication in your partnerships. If you take the time to learn what works best for you and your needs you'll know yourself better the next time you're in a relationship, which will make it easier to communicate your needs to your partner and learn about his or her needs so that you can meet them empathetically and effectively.I find this helpful
I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend! I don't feel the same way as the beginning, we don't talk as much and I feel like things are awkward. I also might like his best friend!!
Thanks for writing in! This sounds like a complicated situation, but you may have answered your own question. Consider journaling or making a list of the things that you need and want to prioritize in a relationship. Think about the ideal traits of a partner and what characteristics the relationship you want may have. Maybe then the answer to your question will be clearer, and this will inspire you to seek relationships that are mutually gratifying. Just remember to be empathetic to yourself and others.I find this helpful
So I’ve been talking to this boy for about 3 weeks and I like him and I’ve wanted him to ask me out and he did today, but now I just don’t feel like it was a good decision. This has happened before where I wanted something and then later regretted it. I don’t know why it’s like you put a label on it and it makes me not feel the same. I don’t know if I should tough it out or what. What should I do?
Commitment isn't easy, and you are allowed to change your mind. Labels don't have to be for better or for worse, they just help us identify what is going on. If you are uncomfortable with labels or the pressures that are often associated with them talk about this with your partner. But, if you no longer feel comfortable with your partner or want to be with them, talk to a trusted adult about how you feel. The unsettling feeling of commitment and the uncertainity of feelings is common. If you think you might still want to be with this person, try to work through your feelings with trusted adults, friends and your partner. You should feel supported and secure in your relationships. Consider journaling on this topic and see where your dialogue with yourself takes you, perhaps you have more answers than you think!I find this helpful
I’m a junior in high school and I promised myself in first grade that I would not think about romance until I was in college. After this New Years, that promise is broken for good. I had a really good friend in elementary school and because she was two years younger I got into middle school and I spent two years without her at school with me. During that time, we relished the moments we got to see each other. One day I went on a summer field trip and she was going with her younger brother and one of her friends already. Her brother started claiming that my friend had a huge crush on me. I tried very hard to shake it off as a lie. I got suspicious when her friend dared me to do something, and then teased my friend that she should kiss me if I did it. All three of them were acting weird the whole day, exactly in the way you would expect if she did like me. When she got into middle school, I couldn’t talk to her. I started obsessing over whether she liked me, and then I realized That it was because I liked her. I regretted every moment I couldn’t walk up to her and be normal. When I started going to high school, she was no longer on my mind. I didn’t see her that much at all, but I found out that a member of my Boy Scout troop was her first boyfriend, and I was instantly jealous. I was relieved when I learned he was dating someone else. Another scout, who was kind of a bad boy, was surprised to hear as much as me that we both knew her for just as long. He outright told me that she had put up an act for me and she wasn’t the “good girl” she pretended to be outside her friend group. When I worked at summer camp this last year, I built a outgoing persona and then I became outgoing myself. When my friend started High School, I made sure I spent time with her this time. We reconnected, but I avoided the above subjects. I knew for sure that I liked her, but I had decided to keep my promise because I was still not ready for a relationship, and I wasn’t sure if she still liked me in that way, even if I was quite sure she had a childhood crush. I play modern tabletop games at a local convention every year, and I asked her to come. It was already amazing doing one of my favorite things, but when she showed up my happiness shot up like a rocket. She gone with her brother and two close friends, who I can confidently say are now friends of mine, even after one night. Her friends seemed surprised to learn that she had a friend there, even though I was apparently “that guy they had heard about.” She seemed like she wanted to talk to me one on one then as a group and she even asked to be on my team when her two friends called playing on a team with her already. She said something like, “Come on, They’re fighting over me!” That really put the nail in the coffin for me. We all had an amazing time. The thing is, I hadn’t been hanging out with her when she was with her friends before because I didn’t know them, but now I can’t wait to see them again. It was the best day I have had for as long as I could remember, and her awesome friends made me feel more connected to her. I felt comfortable enough to bring up some things I hadn’t before. I made a cryptic comment about her scout boyfriend and she indirectly revealed that she is single. I want to take the leap, but I don’t know how or when… or if! I know that logically a first relationship, no matter what I feel now, is almost surely going to fail eventually. I can’t imagine having a breakup with her. I don’t want to lose a great friendship for a doomed relationship. But I should follow my heart, shouldn’t I? As of right now, I’m thinking about asking about the day of the field trip. I can play that off as joking about old times or we can talk about what our feelings were then and what they are now. I don’t know if that’s a good idea, but unless I get better advice, that’s where I’m starting. This was quite long, but I believe the whole story matters.
Thanks for writing in! It sounds like you want to follow your heart, perhaps you already know the answer to your own question. You're right, a lot of relationships do fail, and so friendships - caring for someone is always a risk. But you won't ever know what could happen unless you try. Consider journaling about your ideal relationship and what traits your ideal partner might have (without thinking of anyone in particular) and see how this aligns with the situation at hand. If you are worried about rushing things, perhaps try to spend more time with her and let your friendship grow organically. Don't forget to trust your gut and act empathetically towards yourself and others.I find this helpful
I used to have a crush on this kid and I have his name as "corn" on snapchat because that's his nickname. However, I have a friend who I named "corny zork". I was sleep deprived and tired from studying so I decided to spam my friend, but I didn't notice I was spamming "corn" until he replied. Help. Should I just play it off cool like "yea I meant to spam you?"
Everyone has mixed up contacts at some point, this is totally understandable! When this happens, if you feel comfortable, just own up to the sleep deprivation and mix up - true friends will understand. There's also no harm in playing it cool, perhaps your crush was into it, and glad to hear from you. The thing is you will never know how people feel unless you ask, so keep getting to know the person you have feelings for and let your friendship do the rest of the work.I find this helpful
I have like this one guy for three years should I ask him out?
Hi There! Great question, crushes can be fun and exciting, but they are most definitely confusing too! If you think you have a crush on someone but aren't sure if you should ask them out or not - here are some things you can do. Spend time with them, this is by far the best way to get to know someone and let them get to know you. Be honest and be yourself, if they make you feel comfortable and appreciated, and you find yourself wanting to spend more time with them, explore that. If you find yourself excited to get to know them and genuinely interested in what they have to say and this feels mutual, ask them how they feel – this is the only way to know how someone else feels!I find this helpful
Why does he want to wait till next year to date?
There are a lot of reasons why someone could want to wait to date. He could have a really busy year of classes, sports, etc. ahead of him. Or maybe his parents have asked him to wait until he's a certain age before he dates. It may also be that he doesn't feel he's ready to date.
The only way to know for sure is to ask! It might be scary, but communication is key for relationships.I find this helpful