It was good while it lasted. Or maybe it wasn’t. You broke up and remained friends. Or maybe you never spoke again. And that was the end of the story. Until now.
Now, you’re talking/texting/flirting with your ex and something feels different. Should you try again? Maybe. But it might help to answer these questions first.
- Do you have a break up/make up pattern? If you can’t stand to be apart or stay together, you might be more into the drama than your actual ex. If you can’t do much more than get together/fight, fight, fight/break up, then maybe this merry-go-round isn’t the right call. We want you to be happy. If you want to be happy too, consider breaking the pattern.
- Has your ex changed? If you broke up because of their behavior, seeing a new side of your ex can make you feel like this time it’ll be different. Change is possible, but it’s really effing hard and takes serious commitment. The only way to know for sure that someone has changed is to let time pass and see if it’s true. Go slow as you get to know this person again. Make sure the changes are authentic.
- Have you changed? Sometimes it takes a break up to help us grow up, soften up, toughen up, or wise up. If you needed to work on yourself and now feel like you could be with your ex again because you’ve changed, that’s admirable. But your ex may be hurt or skeptical. Be prepared to regain their trust as you two start over.
- Is this a case of absence making the heart grow fonder? Sometimes we just really want to be with someone who gets us. And that can make you want your ex. But before you start sending frantic texts trying to get him back, make sure you really understand what’s motivating you. If you’re just feeling lonely, and there’s no legit reason to rekindle things, then you might want to take a breath and sleep on it.
Ultimately, it’s best to trust your gut when it comes to an ex. And if you do try again, we hope round two (or three or four) is better than the best love song.