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Breaking Up

Not sure if he's a keeper? Wondering whether she's the real thing or just a fling? Curious about whether your relationship is actually healthy or heading in the wrong direction? We're answering ALL of your “Should I Break Up?” questions. 

How do I break up with someone?

No one wants to be broken up with, and no one wants to break up with someone. It can be sad, awkward, and downright uncomfortable. There are some good ways and bad ways to break up, however. Think about how you want to address the situation? Usually it’s best to sit down and have a calm, cool, and collected conversation with your partner. Explain what’s been bothering you and why you think breaking up is the best course of action. They may cry or yell, but don’t start pointing fingers and raising your voice. Think about how you would want someone to break the news to you. Read more awesome tips here.

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Should my ex and I still be Facebook friends?

Maybe things ended well and you’re still on good terms. In that case, you’re probably safe to remain friends. You may get a little jealous when you see him in pictures with another girl, but as long as you can accept it and move forward, you won’t have much of a problem. However, if you break down in tears every time, then it may be time to defriend. It may be a good opportunity to create some distance. Check out some advice from one of our authors!

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Is it honestly okay for your ex and best friend to hook up when your best friend knows you would never do that to her?

It’s really hard when your BFF wants to date your ex—and it’s so common that we actually have a blog about it! The best advice we can give is to talk it out with your BFF, try to have an honest and calm conversation about what you’re feeling. Are you ok with it?  If not, talk to your BFF and try to figure it out together.  But if you’re honestly not into your ex anymore and there might be something there between the ex and your BFF, consider if you can stand letting them see how it goes.  

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Me and this guy recently had a on/off relationship, But now hes dating someone else and I cant help but be jealous! I am talking to this other guy now but I feel like its to make my ex jealous but I cant tell.

It’s normal to be jealous, date a rebound guy, and be feeling jumbled and confused! Right now you’re just talking to a new guy, which is total fine.  But if you’re going to start a real relationship with him, first ask yourself if you would dump this new guy right away if your ex became single. It’s not fair to the new guy if you really just want your ex back. Give yourself permission to move on, and you might find this new guy is perfect for you. 

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This guy I like confuses me...he'll talk to me and flirts with me and text me all the time...next thing I know he ignores my texts but when we see eachother he's all flirty and texts me...what's going on?

There could be a lot of things going on here…maybe he likes you but he’s afraid to act on it.  Maybe he’s just a naturally flirty guy or likes to tease you.  Maybe him ignoring your texts is actually him trying to be chill and act cool….the only way you’ll know for sure is if you ask him. If you can’t bring yourself to actually ask him if he’s into you, maybe invite him the next time your group of friends is doing something.  You’ll have a chance to check him out AND get your friends’ perspectives on what his deal is. 

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What if you still like him and he broke up with you

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Is it weird to date your best friend

Not at all! It’s great to have a relationship that is based in friendship first. If you’re both interested in dating one another, take it slow and see how it feels. By taking it slow you guys can figure out if you’re happy dating, or better off as just friends. We have some more great advice here! 

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If your friend goes out with their long time friend that they can tell anything to and their breakup is awful how do you deal with the awkward tention between them

This is a super tough question…if it was a bad break up and they actually can’t stand each other, you may have to get used to the idea that the three of you won’t be hanging out together very often.  They both need time to cool off and get over each other and no amount of forced hanging out will make that happen more quickly.  If they can both be somewhat mature about it, the best bet might be for you to just spend time with each person individually and not the three of you.  

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Is it okay for you to like someone when you said your over them?

It’s totally normal to take a little time to get over someone, even if you’re the one who initiated the break-up. Just as feelings take time to develop, they take time to go away too. Maybe your head knew that this wasn’t the relationship for you, even if it takes your heart a little extra time to get over it. 

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Should I forgive my ex although he hurt me?

It depends! If you were the victim of dating violence or felt abused by your ex, then you don’t owe him anything. We have some great resources to help figure out what an abusive relationship looks like, and loveisrespect.org has even more information about escaping an abusive ex.

If you had a healthy relationship and broke up for another reason, then you might feel better if you can forgive and forget all about your ex. You don’t want to date someone who doesn’t care about you or your feelings, so it’s totally not worth getting back with someone who cheated or lied to you.

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My relationship is more than a friendship but less than a couple..he suddenly stopped talking to me

That’s a tricky one! We can’t say what’s going on in his head; he might have decided he’s not ready for legit couple-status, or maybe he’s just nervous about taking the next step. You can send a quick text message to see what’s up, and then give him some space. It may be disappointing to see him retreat, but ultimately you should date someone who’s super excited to be with you! Here’s even more advice. 

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Are long distance relationships good or bad?

ok i like this girl and she likes me what should i do

The guy I've considered my boyfriend for a year now just told a friend of mine that we're basically just friends. I thought he was the one and now that I know he doesn't feel the same I feel so rejected...

It sounds like you guys really aren’t on the same page. It might be worth it to talk to this guy and try to figure out why there’s a disconnect between you, instead of just hearing it from your friend. Rejection can really sting! It’s really tough to find out through a friend instead of from the guy himself, so if you feel okay to talk to him, that might clear things up a bit. And don’t get too hung up on trying to find “the one.” There are a lot of fish in the sea, and now is the time to figure out what you really want in a partner and see what kinds of personalities and traits compliment yours!

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How can I get over someone who hurt my feeling and broke my heart?

Caring for someone deeply is one of the most brave things humans can possibly do. Putting yourself out there, being honest with others, and giving something an opportunity to grow is hard and it doesn't always work out - and that's okay. It's an inevitable part of life, whether it's a partner, a friend, family, or a trusted adult people will, sometimes purposefully and other times without meaning to, let you down. Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is the best way to move closer to a fufilling relationship. Why? Because you learn things about yourself and other people that you wouldn't otherwise. You learn what you want in a partner and in a partnership, you learn how you react to certain situations and how you want to be going forward. 

In the meantime, heart break is a crappy feeling and can make the world seem pretty gray at times. The best remedy for this is time, even when it doesn't feel like it the pain will be a little less each day. Focus on the friendships and relationships in your life that bring you joy. Give time to school, new and old hobbies, and things that make you happy.

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How do I get over a guy?

Heartbreak is never easy or simple. It hurts a lot when someone you admire and thought you could trust breaks that trust. What happens next is up to you, if think that it's worth salvaging your friendship make sure you prioritize your needs, take things slow, and consider taking some space to focus on things that bring you joy. If you decide that perhaps cutting this person out is what is best for you, and focus on the support systems in your life that can give you the friendship and encouragement that you deserve!

 

Caring for someone deeply is one of the bravest things humans can possibly do. Putting yourself out there, being honest with others, and giving something an opportunity to grow is hard and it doesn't always work out - and that's okay. It's an inevitable part of life, whether it's a partner, a friend, family, or a trusted adult people will, sometimes purposefully and other times without meaning to, let you down. Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is the best way to move closer to a fulfilling relationship. Why? Because you learn things about yourself and other people that you wouldn't otherwise. You learn what you want in a partner and in a partnership, you learn how you react to certain situations and how you want to be going forward.  

 

In the meantime, heart break is a crappy feeling and can make the world seem pretty gray at times. The best remedy for this is time, even when it doesn't feel like it the pain will be a little less each day. Focus on the friendships and relationships in your life that bring you joy. Give time to school, new and old hobbies, and things that make you happy.

I find this helpful 

I was dating this boy for a few months. It initially started as us being just friends and he started to like me but I didn’t like him. We started to get close and we were eventually dating. It was always so good but after a certain amount of time he’d get too shy to talk to me and it would all go to sh*ts and we’d stop talking but always start talking again and it would be fine and we’d pick up where we left off. Just before Christmas I ended things with him because he hadn’t spoken to me in real life and it seemed to me that he was avoiding me as he would only try to make conversation over social media. I am a bubbly person and I love talking to everyone so me being with someone shy was like fire and water. In real life we were completely different but over the phone and on social media we got on so well. I started to think it was maybe because we were never alone but he never wanted to meet and he never asked me to either so I just thought it was best if I’d ended it. I have tried to move on but nothing is working I can’t click with anyone else like I have clicked with him and he crosses my mind so often and we’ve spoke. Two or three times over these past three weeks but it’s just not the same. I can’t even say anything to him because he’s now talking to someone else and I’ve heard that it’s going so well for him. :(

Heartbreak is never easy or simple. It hurts a lot when someone you admire and thought you could trust breaks that trust. What happens next is up to you, if think that it's worth salvaging your friendship make sure you prioritize your needs, take things slow, and consider taking some space to focus on things that bring you joy. If you decide that perhaps cutting this person out is what is best for you, and focus on the support systems in your life that can give you the friendship and encouragement that you deserve! 

 

Caring for someone deeply is one of the bravest things humans can possibly do. Putting yourself out there, being honest with others, and giving something an opportunity to grow is hard and it doesn't always work out - and that's okay. It's an inevitable part of life, whether it's a partner, a friend, family, or a trusted adult people will, sometimes purposefully and other times without meaning to, let you down. Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is the best way to move closer to a fulfilling relationship. Why? Because you learn things about yourself and other people that you wouldn't otherwise. You learn what you want in a partner and in a partnership, you learn how you react to certain situations and how you want to be going forward.  

 

In the meantime, heart break is a crappy feeling and can make the world seem pretty gray at times. The best remedy for this is time, even when it doesn't feel like it the pain will be a little less each day. Focus on the friendships and relationships in your life that bring you joy. Give time to school, new and old hobbies, and things that make you happy.

I find this helpful 
Teenagers sitting on a tree limb

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