Is there anything more annoying than that couple you know who are always grossly engaging in excessive PDA? You know—the ones who can’t keep their hands off one another and are always so touchy-feely it makes everyone around them uncomfortable? Sadly there is. What’s worse is the guy who is a total overbearing boyfriend to his girl.

When a guy is being a jerk to his girlfriend the situation reaches a whole new level of uncomfortable that’s not as easily brushed off. Maybe he’s not mean all the time. Maybe everyone can tell that he really does like her. Maybe he comes up with excuses. But what we know for sure is that he can be a bully in this relationship. 

Relationships are supposed to provide both partners with the support and positive feelings that are sometimes hard to find on your own. Really strong feelings and having the wrong ideas about how dating works can make people be pretty lousy to their significant others. Lots of guys think it shows a girl you care to get jealous. Some think it’s okay to tell her what she can and can’t do. Others are fine making their girlfriends feel bad about themselves over their weight, intelligence, or looks. All of this behavior, however, is totally unacceptable.

Even if he is your friend, it’s not okay to let his crappy attitude go unchecked. Standing by while things go bad between a couple is only going to make you, her, and everyone else feel worse. On top of that, letting this guy be an overbearing boyfriend is setting him up for unhealthy habits that will affect every relationships he will have.

But how are you supposed to broach the subject on something like this? However you do it, the sooner, the better. If you’ve got the guts, you can go ahead and put your foot down right there. Let it be known these actions aren’t going to fly when you’re around. “Josh, you need to back off. You can’t be treating her like this.” It might make things tense at first, but you’ll pave the way for others to speak up in the future. If you think such a scene wouldn’t work with the guy you know, you can always pull him aside later. “I’ve been meaning to say something. I think the way you were acting earlier with Katie was way out of line.” The well being of your friends is your business, so don’t let yourself be bullied out of speaking up.

The only thing that’s worse than potential fall-out from butting in and letting a guy know he’s being an overbearing boyfriend is letting his bad behavior continue. So stay strong and stamp out bullying in the relationships around you.

Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.