We’ve all been there…your best friend has a new boyfriend/girlfriend that you aren’t absolutely crazy about. Put frankly, you just really don’t like him/her whatsoever. As a good friend, you try to remain supportive of their relationship. You play that whole, “if my friend is happy, I’m happy” game with yourself. Sooner or later, however, the two of you are talking and the reality of the situation slips out:

“I’m sorry, but, I just… uhh… Really, eh, don’t like them.”   

Yepp. Then they may stop talking about their relationship in front of you. Your friend might act weird when in the presence of you and their significant other at the same time. And although it’s the last thing you wanted to do, your confession could’ve driven a small wedge between the two of you.

I went through that with my best friend. She was with a guy who did not support her dreams and would attempt to dissuade her from pursuing them. Whenever I kindly let her know one day that I just wasn’t on board with her new man, she began to keep secrets from me. I didn’t hear about their relationship from her much anymore. When she broke up with him, guess what she said? “He would never encourage me to follow my dreams, and I just got tired feeling tied down.” One point for Shelby!

The truth is, (generally speaking) you surround yourself with people who are like you. Similar values. Common interests. Same sense of humor. Most friends can serve as an accurate mirror in relationships because they aren’t blinded by love; they see what you see from an outsider’s perspective and can form opinions without involving any lovey-dovey feelings. Your friends know the true you; they see your weirdest moments and love you for it. Whenever your friend speaks up about a relationship, I think you should listen. Even if you don’t agree or feel the same, who knows? Their opinion may be more level-headed than yours at the time. I speak from personal experience:

Awhile back, I was in a relationship that had many of my friends forming opinions (few of which were positive). While I had the madly-in-love goggles on, they saw our relationship from a completely different angle. Their opinions rang loud and clear: “He’s too possessive.” “He calls you WAY too much.” “He’s just not good for you.” “He shouldn’t talk to you like that, Shelby.” “I’m sorry, but, I just… uhh… Really, eh, don’t like him.”

Although I was head over heels, they weren’t. My very best friend was completely honest with me on many occasions about how she felt it was an unhealthy relationship. In a way, my best friends served as a more balanced judge for that relationship than anyone else in my life. Upon leaving that relationship, I was able to see that most of what they said was very true. One point for friends!

I feel that our amigos should be a voice to listen to in every situation. Of course, we should not base any decision entirely on a friends’ opinion, but they do serve as an awesome way to get a relevant perspective on your love life. 

Have you ever run into this issue? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments what your strategies are for dealing with your friends' opinions about your s/o.

Shelby is 16 and from Shreveport, Louisiana. She is a member of The National Campaign’s Youth Leadership Team. Shelby is a true master of disguise; not only can she accurately imitate dozens of accents and dialects, her chameleon-like abilities allow her to blend into her surroundings. We still haven’t found her. Have a question for Shelby? Email us!