Knowing if you’re ready for your first time can put a lot of pressure on you, but that doesn’t mean that future times are any less serious. Sex is a big deal.  And every single time you have sex, it’s your choice. Whether with the same partner or a new person, it should always your decision. And remember, just because you’ve said yes before, doesn’t mean you can’t say no now. Part of knowing if you’re ready is making sure you and your partner are on the same page. How he or she reacts to your choice is also a great indicator in helping you make that decision.

In Bay and Tank’s case, Tank was initially confused. They both like each other, don’t they? And things are going well, right? And she’s not a virgin? So why wouldn’t they be having sex? But Bay doesn’t want to. She can’t really put her finger on why, but she’s not ready. They both end up upset and decide to go their separate ways. Bay confides in her birth mother, Regina, who assures her that even non-virgins can be nervous about having sex. But what she tells Bay is that the way a guy reacts to your decision tells you a whole lot about who they are, and could help you make a decision for the future.

Tank may have been confused about Bay’s choice at first but he redeems himself when he apologizes to her for what happened. He didn’t mean to pressure her. Ultimately, if she’s not ready, he understands and will wait.  A conversation about NOT having sex brought Bay and Tank closer.

Every time you have sex, the consequences are the same. There’s potential for physical consequences, like a pregnancy or STIs, as well as the emotional consequences. You need to protect yourself, whether that be making sure you’re using a reliable form of contraception every single time you have sex, or maybe not having sex at all right now. Either way, talking to your partner about what you’re both thinking and comfortable with is the first step.  And hopefully they react as supportively as Tank did with Bay. For more good reasons to wait, check out the waiting section.

Back in 2006 he performed this poem V for Virgin which was propelled to popularity by Russell Simmons—a pretty cool guy in the music industry. Simmons started Def Jam records which produces music by Frank Ocean, 2 Chainz, Rihanna, Kanye West, and tons others, so he knows what good sound is.

 

This poem is pretty sexy for talking about not having sex. But in truth, not having sex is sexy! You get to enjoy life and experience so many more things without having to worry about STIs or babies.

 

Watsky points out all the best things about being a normal kid, which is as sexy as sexy gets. Because you know what? Those  kids who go to school, learn about cool TV, music, countries, and politics are the ones who are the sexiest. The kids who learn a unique sport, card game, dance, or language are the sexiest. Doing your best in high school, while you have time to try all the weird and wacky things that come with the unique privilege of being in high school…that, my friends, is sexy.

 

I think George Watsky got it right. Because no matter how many crushes you get and get over, hairstyles you run through, or friends you may have, the most important person in your life is yourself. So treat yourself right, and enjoy being your crazy weird self for as long as you can.

 

 

 

What We’re Watching is a new feature where we break down what we’re watching each week. We’ve scoured television listings, YouTube, Twitter, and reached into the depths of the Internet to bring you awesome stuff to watch and learn from. Watching something we’re not? Let us know and we’ll take a look!