Ask Us Anything
Long Distance Relationships
Summer is coming to a close, camp is ending, and people are moving to college. You and your love may be thinking about going the distance…long distance. Ask Us Anything about long distance relationships!
I’ve been in a LDR for a few months and we always snap chat and message each other. But he never wants to call or Skype—he says its because he doesn’t want his mom to hear him talking to me. He’s also said he’s to busy and doesn’t have time or he’s just nervous to. I don’t know what to do, he’s says we will do that stuff at some point but I’m not sure.
Keeping the lines of communication open in a long distance relationship is one of the biggest challenges couples face. It sounds like this is something you’ve brought up a lot and he’s come up with a lot of excuses. It’s totally normal for him to be scared to FaceTime—but it’s important for a couple to have face-to-face time to actually talk, not just Snap or text.
Since it’s something you’ve brought up a bunch, it’s clearly important to you (and with good reason). Try explaining to him how much this means to you so he has an opportunity to understand why you want to Skype and talk on the phone. If you give him a chance to understand and he still doesn’t reciprocate the effort it may be time to re-evaluate the situation.
I find this helpfulMy boyfriend and I are long distance and we are always teasing each other about “texting the other boyfriend/girlfriend” whenever one of us are playing on our phone while Skyping. Is that a sign of trust issues?
As long as you’re both comfortable with the situation it’s A-OK! Teasing can be a fun part of any relationship. What really matters is that you do trust your boyfriend and he trusts you. If you’re not sure, maybe check in with him and make sure that you and your boo agree that this is in fact a joke.
Ultimately, as a joke, it should be fun and shouldn’t bother you or him. If it does, there’s an issue you need to discuss. The good thing is, that since this has already been a topic of discussion you have a great opener.
I find this helpfulI have a girlfriend and we’re in a long distance relationship, but she flirts with guys and I’ve caught her before. But when she gets caught she turns it all around on me and blames me for everything. What should I do?
Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship—and when you’re long distance, trust is is even more important. Next time you see her flirting with someone else, try remaining calm and steady so you can have a productive conversation without her getting defensive. Really listen to what she has to say, and make sure she understands where you’re coming from, too. Talking it through can make a world of difference.
If it is still a problem, you may want to take a closer look at the entire relationship. A healthy relationship should have trust and communication, and should skip playing the blame game.
I find this helpfulI’m 17, going into my senior year. A few months ago my boyfriend moved more than an hour away. I have a problem with jealousy— I get jealous when other girls even talk to him, and get mad when I find out they like him. I feel like if I were there other girls wouldn’t get crushes. I’ve dealt with an ex cheating on me before, but I don’t want to punish my BF for what my ex did. Is this normal to feel like this?
Jealousy is normal in relationships, especially when it’s long distance. But even if you were at his new school, you can’t stop other girls from talking to him or even having crushes on him—that’s just not how life works! While you can’t control how other girls act around him—you can control your reaction and response. Healthy relationships need communication, trust, honesty, and respect. Be open with how you feel, how you’ve been hurt before, and what your fears are. Discuss plans to make you both feel more secure in your relationships—like weekly Skype dates, goodnight texts, and meeting in person once a month!
I find this helpful