Newsflash: Guys Don’t Only Want to Have Sex
Guys often get a bad rap for being the ones who pressure their girlfriends into having sex. So it may surprise you to know that a lot of guys (8 out of 10 if you want to get exact) say that they feel pressured by their friends, the media, even girls, to get busy doing “it”.
While there are a few guys who don’t think they need to be in a relationship to have sex, almost twice as many guys say they would rather be in a relationship without sex than have sex but no real girlfriend.
It’s also important to remember that real intimacy and sex aren’t the same things. Being close to a person means really getting to know all about them, developing a deep level of trust, learning to rely on that person, sharing mutual goals for the future, respecting each other’s differences, and so much more. Here’s the secret—intimacy is way more than just physical stuff. And it’s nice to know that guys think this is important, too.
Why do you think guys feel pressure to have sex before they’re ready? Is it the media’s portrayal of boys as sexual aggressors? Is it their friends, who judge them on how many girls they’ve gotten (or said they’ve gotten, as the case most often is)? Do you think girls pressure guys to have sex? Do you know anyone who was turned down by a guy who wanted to get to know her better
Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.
Michelle Hainer is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in numerous national publications including InStyle, The Washington Post, People, and Teen People. A former teen magazine editor, Michelle’s covered everything from pregnancy to peer pressure and is now covering all things relationship for Stay Teen. Have a question for Michelle? Send us an email!
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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:
I’m not exactly sure how i feel about this article. Are you suggesting that the next time my boyfriend bugs me to have sex (yes, I am a 17yr old virgin) that I should see where he’s coming from (pressure from his friends, the media, etc.) and go ahead and have sex??
@ Jessica — actually, if your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex, this article doesn't really apply to him or your situation…instead, it's meant to show that not every guy out there is obsessed with sex, which is the stereotypical view.
most girls that i know say that boys only want to have sex…. but i say this “its not true wat those girls say” cause all boys think about when it comes to girls is how hott or cute they are……boys should make girls happy by tellings them nice thngs about themselfs . boys shouldnt make girls happy by having sex with them..if they do that….then later on in the girls and guys life they are both going to regret it..
Very True… Most guys want what most girls want; a person that is going to Truly Love them which includes respect, trust, friendship, affection, etc. you get the point.
I believe media, dysfunctional parental guidance and lack/false education is the main problems. Look at music videos, guys surrounded by rubber band wearing bikini girls that most likely you will never see in real life, but who’s really in control the guy or the girls? Most guys can’t even control from seeing it on TV!
Girls, just a lil advice…don’t give it up, because…those that give it up aren’t the ones that will be coming home to meet mama.
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