High school is a volatile world of constantly trying to impress those around you. It sometimes feels like anything you do or say is criticized by your peers. That criticism even affects you when it comes to personal decision such as when you are ready for sex. As a guy I know the stereotypes that say “everyone is doing it” and “all guys want in a relationship is sex.” But those stereotypes are not necessarily true. Even if they appear to be true does not mean you have to buy into them.
Choosing when you’re ready to have sex is a significant decision. Never let others make that kind of personal choice for you. Never forget: it’s your life and your choice. I believe it’s smart to make this decision before these pressures confront you. You want to be ready to answer the question if it’s ever proposed. Plus those who make their decision ahead of time are more likely to stick with it when confronted with sexual situations. My choice, like many others, was to wait. I can attest that sometimes high school did not make that decision easy. The unavoidable truth is you may take some heat from your decision to wait. So I came up with some ways to avoid or combat that pressure:
- Find the reason you’re truly choosing to wait and become passionate about it. Whether that reason is religious beliefs, personal morals, avoiding emotional consequences, or avoiding unwanted pregnancy, you need becoming passionate about your reason because that passion will make any flack you get easier to take. If you believe in your reasoning you’re less likely to waver from that decision.
- Be proud of your decision. Know that this is your decision and no one can tell you different. Know that you made a smart decision that has your future in mind. People won’t tell you to your face but deep down they may respect you for your decision. In some cases that person or friend may have made the choice to have sex in their past but has changed their minds and is now choosing to wait. You never know whose role model you could be.
- Don’t advertise it. Again, be proud in your decision but don’t wave it in others’ faces. Not only can you take more heat from it, you could also be making your situation worse. Some people may see you as a challenge and try to “pursue” you. With that being said if someone asks you what your opinion is, by all means proudly inform them of your choice. Don’t ever be ashamed of the decision you made.
- Have fun in a relationship without sex. You may find it embarrassing or may feel like you’re missing out when your peers talk about their experience with sex. But remember you can have plenty of fun within a relationship without sex. In a recent survey of guys ages 15-18, 66% said they would rather “have a girlfriend but NOT have sex.”
- Understand you are not alone. In fact less than half of teens in high school have had sex. That means that more than half of all high school students are virgins. There is power in numbers and you speaking out may actually be supportive to those of your friends who cannot speak out.
Want more info on waiting? Check out our waiting page here.
Have you decided to wait to have sex? Has it been an empowering decision or one that you’ve taken some flak for? Tell us about your choice, how you made your decision, and if you experienced any negative consequences for it in the comments!