There are a lot of things that make dating someone a bad idea, but sometimes there are those things are just such major disqualifiers that they become dating deal breakers. I absolutely cannot date them if they have one of these traits or do one of these things. These are my top five dating deal breakers.
- When guys show you pictures of celebrities they think are hot…Really, guys? Really? 98% of the world’s population of women have come to understand through years of therapy that the level of beauty attained by current actresses and models is an absolutely ridiculous ideal. We definitely don’t need guys undoing all the progress we’ve made so far by gushing over Brooklyn Decker’s boobs. I went to a movie with a guy a few weeks ago, and I was really excited because we hadn’t talked much until that point but I always thought he was really cute. Once the movie was over, he spent the rest of the night talking about how incredibly beautiful Reese Witherspoon is and how much he’d like to go out with her. What about me, guy? What about the girl you’re actually going out with? Why don’t you say something nice about her?
- When guys wear beanies in temperatures above 50 degrees. There is almost nothing that says “I think too highly of myself” like wearing a beanie. Unless you’re skiing in incredibly cold temperatures, I highly advise you to stay away from these droopy hats. Not only are they the equivalent of writing “Stereotypical Douchebag” across your chest, they also cover your eyes and mess up your hair into weird lumps. I know three guys who wear beanies, and I am not friends with any of them. Coincidence? I think not.
- When guys throw up on you. I mean really, in what sick world is throwing up on a girl acceptable? If you’re at a party, watch how much you drink. Don’t do anything too stupid. Because if you throw up all over the girl of your dreams, it’s over. All hope is crushed. Let’s set aside the fact that drinking enough to make you throw up is disgustingly unhealthy and does so much damage to your body—once you’re in that state, you can’t control anything. You can’t just decide not to throw up. It’s clearly not a voluntary action. If your drunk enough, you WILL throw up on whoever you’re around, so please don’t let that be anyone you ever want to talk to again.
- When guys are completely unaware of what’s on their feet. So here are some ground rules when it comes to guys and shoes: First of all, NEVER wear sandals with socks, Crocs, or hiking boots to school. Hiking boots have their place on dirt trails, but sandals with socks and most definitely Crocs are not to be worn anywhere but in the comfort of your own home. Even then, frankly, it’s debatable. Clearly girls don’t enjoy guys that spend more on their shoes than on the rest of their clothes put together, but a complete disregard for footwear is just as bad. Try to find a happy medium—tennis shoes are always acceptable, as are loafers. There are thousands of shoes to choose from! Why sacrifice your feet and social reputation in Crocs?
- Guys that say “hash tag” when they talk. Hash tag is purely a symbol used on twitter to link to different twitter pages. It looks like this …#...It is not to be said out loud in any manner at all, serious or joking. It makes you look like a stereotypical youth, speaking in some weird futuresque computer language. You don’t say “At Josephine” when you’re talking about Josephine, like you would in a Facebook post. (@Josephine tags her in your post). So why would you possibly use a # symbol to get your point across? And that said, following the hash tag symbol is usually some risqué borderline racist comment. (Some examples include: God! I can’t find a space in the whole foods parking lot! #Whitegirlproblems) A hashtag joke is never funny enough to use with a girl you’re trying to impress. Plus, it makes you sound overly obsessed with your Twitter, and completely disconnected from real life.