If you listen to what TV, movies, and music tells you about relationships it all sounds pretty fake. There’s either the couple who is super in love and is perfect, or there’s more drama than there is relationship. But if you’ve ever been in a stable relationship (and good for you if you have), you’ll know that it’s somewhere in the middle, hopefully closer to a perfect relationship than the drama.
So here’s a list of some of the things that popular culture will tell you about being in a relationship that probably isn’t true. That doesn’t mean that these things never happen, just that it’s not as common as you might believe.
- If you just try you can get a girlfriend. I’ll write this one from the guy’s perspective, mainly because I am one, and also because guys ask girls out more often than the other way around. The idea is that as long as you’re a nice guy and know the girl well enough, if you ask her nicely on a date she’ll say yes. While sometimes that’s all it takes, it’s a bit harder than that. If it was always that easy I’d have a girlfriend by now.
- Being in a relationship is easy. I talked about how sometimes in movies or in television shows you’ll see a ‘perfect couple’ that hardly has any problems and is always happy. They always make it look like it’s really easy to be in a relationship, but even when the relationship is perfect it’s still not easy. The commitment and amount of time a strong relationship needs is a lot, and while it’s fun it takes quite a bit of work.
- There’s too much drama. Mean Girls. Gossip Girl. Glee. While I don’t spend hours obsessing over these shows like some of my friends do, I have watched a few more episodes than I’ll admit. Each of these shows are about high school dating and drama, and each over-exaggerate what a real high school looks like. And they do this on purpose. More drama means more people will watch, so they get better ratings and more money. But that doesn’t mean that’s what a real relationship is like.
- The good guy always wins. I’ve seen countless movies where the good looking guy is ignored by the hot girl at the beginning of the show. Then he saves the world from exploding and wins the girl. While no one I know is going to save the world, a lot of people believe the idea that the good guy always wins. Maybe in high school that’s the quarterback of the football team or just a really nice guy that everyone likes, but just because you or something you did is awesome doesn’t mean you’ll get a date. And that brings me to my last point:
- The girl will always say yes. Again, this is from a guy’s perspective, so maybe I don’t know anything about relationships, but I know this one for sure: it’s not like what you see on TV. Even the nicest guys get rejected. Girls are allowed to say no to a date, and sometimes that’s hard to swallow. But hey, it’s still better than a pity date. I’ve been there before too.