Ask Us Anything
Talk About Sex
Sex isn't always easy to talk about. But having honest conversations with your partner, parents, or health care provider is an important step—whether you're doing it, not doing it, saying no to it, or figuring out if you’re ready for it. Ask us anything about talking about sex!
Is wrong to talk to your boyfriend about having sex and having a plan for what you want to happen and when but not actually having sex?
Not at all. It’s much better to discuss expectations and a plan for sex and protection before you find yourself ‘in the moment.’ There’s no set time that you’re supposed to have sex, it’s more about what makes you and your partner most comfortable.
I find this helpful
How do you talk to your partner about sex? What birth control is good for a 16 year old? How to talk your parents about it?
It can definitely feel awkward or scary to bring up the topic of sex, but it’s a really important conversation to have—whether it’s with your parents, your partner, or your health care provider.
When talking to your partner, it’s best to be honest and say that you’ve been thinking about where the relationship is going and are thinking about when you both will take the next step. It shouldn’t be a high pressure conversation—for either one of you--and you need to let your partner know that, if they don’t want to have sex or aren’t ready, that is absolutely fine. There’s no specific time when you’re supposed to have sex over the course of a relationship; the right time is when you and your partner are both ready.
Talking about sex with your parents is also an important resource for you when you’re thinking about taking the next step with your partner. Even though it might not seem like it, your parents were once teenagers, and probably understand your situation better than you would think. Opening the lines of communications between you and your parents, even if the topic is a little bit awkward, can really help to clarify any questions that you might have about relationships and builds the trust between you. Keep in mind, though, that they may not be ready to have this conversation with you…think about it—you’ve been thinking about sex and being sexually active for a long time; this is the first time they’re hearing about it from you. So be prepared for a number of different reactions that may range from completely positive to completely negative; you know your parents, so consider how they might react before you have this convo with them and adjust accordingly.
Finally, there are a ton of different birth control methods that are available for teens your age.
The best thing that you can do is talk to your health care provider—they should be able to help you find a birth control method that works for you and will be able to address any concerns that you might have. If you need help finding a doctor or clinic, use our clinic locator. Keep in mind that different methods of birth control have different levels of effectiveness—some (like IUDs and the implant) are better than others. That said, any time you have sex, you do run a risk of pregnancy, so talk to your health care provider about what method would work best with your life and is also the most effective you can use.I find this helpful
I want to start taking birth control pills. I'm 18 and on my parents insurance. Is there a way to get the pill without them knowing? Do I have to go in for an appointment at my doctor to get the pill?
There are ways to get birth control without your parents knowing, even if you’re a minor or on their insurance—but it takes a little work. Since you’re interested in hormonal birth control—the pill—most states (but not all!) require a visit to a health care provider in order to get a prescription.
You can call your health insurance to find out what information your parents will have access to. It can vary based on your state and what kind of insurance you have, but luckily our friends at Bedsider have covered all your options.
You can choose to visit your regular doctor, or use our clinic finder for a health care provider that specializes in sexual heath. If you’re still concerned about insurance confidentiality you can ask them about costs if you choose to pay out of pocket instead of using insurance.
In the meantime, consider using condoms for pregnancy prevention—they’re easier to obtain privately because there are no age restrictions and available lots of places.I find this helpful
Should I talk to my mom about getting put on the pill even though I'm not sexually active?
Yes! If you're interested in using birth control, your mom or other trusted adult is a great person to talk to. There are a lot of reasons women decide to go on the pill even if they're not sexually active—some pills can help with period management, cramping, or even acne. It's important to have open, honest conversations with your parents about sex, relationships, and birth control—so it's awesome you're comfortable getting the conversation started.I find this helpful
How do you know your ready for sex ?
Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is all about personal comfort—everyone is ready at different times. You should talk to your partner about your relationship and what kind of sexual limits you’re both okay with. That way, you avoid confusion and you can really discuss what you both are looking for and expecting in the relationship, which goes a long way towards feeling comfortable with your partner.There's no timeline for sex, and you can always say no—even if you've said yes before.
If you decide you are ready, make sure to use birth control to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnany. Our Birth Control Explorer is the great place to start. Make an appointment with your health care provider so you can feel comfortable using the method that's best for you.I find this helpful
What's the best form of birth control and how do you get it?
Every body is different, so everyone has a different “best” form of birth control. If you’re forgetful and can’t remember to take a pill every day, a longer acting form of birth control—like the IUD or implant—might be best for you. Talk to your health care provider to see what option is the best fit for your body and your lifestyle. To browse all of the options available to you, check out our Birth Control Explorer.
Condoms are one of the easiest methods of birth control to obtain because they're inexpensive and available lots of places. On th eother hand, most hormonal forms of birth control require a visit to a health care provider. Each state makes its own laws about confidentiality for patients under 18. When calling to make an appointment, tell your age, ask if you need parental consent for your visit and the method you want, and ask whether the clinic guarantees confidentiality. If you’re visiting your usual health care provider’s office using health insurance under a parent’s name, try calling your insurance and doctor’s office to ask about confidentiality.
Need help finding a clinic? Use our clinic locator; just type in your zip code for all the info you’ll need to find a health center nearby.