Ask Us Anything
If movies taught us anything, it's that the holidays are the time to tell people how you really feel. Crushing hard? In a maybe-relationship but want to know what's going on? Ask us all your questions about crushes, love, and holiday romance.
I have a gigantic crush on my best friend's brother, who is also my brother's best friend. We agreed to be just friends but we really like each other. I really want him! Help!
This sounds like a complicated situation. It’s always tough if you want to date someone in your friend group, especially since this guy is so close to two people who are really important in your life. It sounds like you need to have two conversations, one with this guy, and one with your brother and your best friend. If you and the guy talk about your feelings and ultimately decide that you might want to try turning your friendship into a relationship, it’s important that you’re open with your friend and your brother, both of whom will likely be affected by a change in the group dynamic.I find this helpful
I have this best guy friend. I recently moved to another place really far away to begin my junior year of high school. I know that he always had a crush on me, and I knew I would miss him. We never stopped talking since I left, and I am going back to visit him during Christmas break. Is it worth it to do long distance and try to have something with him, even though I am a very jealous type?
Long distance can be really tough, but it’s definitely possible. It sounds like you are really close with this guy, and it can be really tempting to start something, especially since you’ll be with him over the holidays. The best thing that you can do is to sit down with him and talk about where your relationship is going. Be honest with each other, and talk about the challenges and benefits of long distance. You guys are best friends, and this conversation doesn’t have to change that, but it’s super important that you’re on the same page about how you’re feeling.I find this helpful
How do I get the guy to ask me out? I know he likes me because he told me and we are flirting with each other, he just won't ask me out and I really think he's the one.
Going from friendship to a relationship can be tough, especially if you guys have been friends for a while. If he told you that he likes you and you feel a connection, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t ask him out! There’s no rule that a specific person needs to ask the other out, and this guy might be nervous or shy. If you’re too nervous to ask for a solo date, ask him to hang out with a group of friends. It might be easier to start small and then tell him you had fun and would love to hang out again, but just the two of you.I find this helpful
My boyfriend lives far away from me, and i want to see him over the holidays. How can I do that with showing a little bit of creativity?
Winter is a perfect time to set up a really cute date with your boyfriend. From ice skating to sledding, there are tons of things to do outdoors if you live in a cold enough area. If not, don’t fret—we have a ton of other great date ideas for you!I find this helpful
Could I become more than friends with a guy if his relationship with his girlfriend doesn't work out?
Sure, there’s a possibility that you and this guy could have a relationship, but if he’s dating someone else, you should respect that. If you’re not into dating someone else right now, that’s totally fine, and it’s a great chance for you to take some time to focus on yourself. It’s impossible to know what the future holds, but there’s no reason that you should wait around for this guy if he has a girlfriend.
Also, from your question, it’s not clear what your relationship with this guy’s girlfriend is, but if you guys are friends, you might want to think about how this would affect her. It can be really tough when a friend dates an ex, and that could put a strain on your friendship.
How do you tell a guy you like him?
It can be really scary to tell someone that you have feelings for them. The best thing that you can do is just be honest, and let the guy know that you value him as a friend, but have been feeling lately that you guys would be good as something more. This keeps the conversation low-pressure. It’s tough to bring up, but you’ll feel a lot better once you know for sure how he feels, and the only way to figure that out is with an honest conversation.I find this helpful
I've had a crush on this girl for a long time, but I am stuck in a relationship that I no longer want to be in. Should break up with her before the holidays or after?
If you don’t like the person you’re dating, then you should break it off, period. It’s not fair to either of you to stay in a relationship where you’re not happy or are crushing on someone else. Breakups are hard, and you might feel bad doing it before the holidays, but you owe it to this girl to make the choice that will make you both happier in the end. Everyone deserves to really like the person they’re with and be really liked back in return, and it doesn’t sound like that’s the case here. It sounds like you guys have grown apart or aren’t compatible, and that’s totally okay! Relationships change, and sometimes they need to end for the good of both people, and that’s totally normal, but it’s important that you’re honest with this girl that you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. It might seem like breaking up before the holidays is going to be hard, but the truth is that it’s going to be hard no matter when you do it, and the longer you put this off, the harder it’s going to be.I find this helpful
How can I get this guy to like me more than just a friend?
There’s no way to make someone like you—and besides, you deserve to be with someone who likes you for you (without having to convince them)! If you’re already friends with this guy, you could bring up the topic of moving from a friendship to a relationship, although there’s a possibility that he doesn’t feel the same way. On the other hand, he might not have ever thought of the possibility. The only way to know for sure how he’s feeling is to ask, even though it can be a little scary to bring that topic up. It doesn’t have to be a high pressure conversation, and it doesn’t have to change your friendship, but if you’re dying to know how he’s feeling, the best thing that you can do is just ask.I find this helpful
How should I deal with a breakup right before the holidays?
Handling a breakup, even if it’s mutual, is always tough, but it’s especially bad during the holidays, when everyone seems couple-y. If you catch yourself checking your ex’s Facebook or Twitter activity over the holiday on the daily, you might want to hide them from your feeds, even if it’s just temporarily. It can be really hard to get over someone without giving yourself a little bit of distance! If you get a holiday break, that should help a little bit with getting some distance, and it also gives you more of a chance to hang out with friends. Don’t underestimate how much your friends can help you get your mind off of your ex. Whether you’re doing something wintry and fun, like sledding and going ice skating, or if it’s just a regular movie night, hanging out with your friends can really help when getting over a breakup!I find this helpful
This guy and I were almost dating until he suddenly stopped it. We still talk a lot as friends and I still like him a lot. People say he still likes me, but if he did wouldn't we still be a thing? And how do I know the difference between him flirting and being nice?
Talking to guys can be stressful af. Maybe he only wants to be your friend, but maybe he got nervous or seconded guessed himself if you like him. The easiest way to fix your confusion is by asking him straight up if he likes you, if he's interested in dating you, and why your relationship fizzled out earlier. It'll be scary, but hopefully, worth it.I find this helpful
At what age is it appropriate to bring your bf/gf to a holiday occasion?
Age isn't as important as making sure that your family and your significant other are both ready and comfortable to meet one another. Talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about what to expect and lay down groundrules with your family so that they don't embarrass you (too badly). If everyone is cool with them coming over then enjoy! If not, maybe wait a year.I find this helpful
Should I get my boyfriend a present if we just starting going out this month?
There's no hard and fast rule for when to give a gift. The important thing is to get something that speaks to you, no sincere gift is a bad gift.
Some loose guidelines are to make sure that you match the type of gift you give to how close you are to the person getting the gift. You wouldn't want to give your best friend something as impersonal a bar of chocolate or a teacher something as personal as a monogrammed necklace. If you want to get your boyfriend a present, go for it!I find this helpful
I'm straight but every time I watch the polar express I start thinking about this guy in my class. Does this mean i could be bisexual or is it the movie doing its magic?
Sexuality is fluid and can fluctuate over your lifetime. This could mean anything, people are often stimulated by a variety of things. Consider spending time with people that love and accept you, and explore your feelings knowing that however you feel and whichever gender you are attracted to is okay!I find this helpful
So me and a boy were talking for about a month over text and phone call. It sounds so silly when it is put like that but he is by far the sweetest person I have ever met and I have never laughed and smiled so much whilst being somewhat close to someone in my life. Later on in the ‘friendship’ I noticed I was starting to get strong feelings towards him and it started to scare me because I felt as though it was unlikely he felt the same way. When I did finally decide to tell him how I felt, he implied that he didn’t like me back and I felt a strong feeling of sadness and cried. Two weeks later he told me he felt the same and said he only implied he didn’t like me so that he could protect me from getting more hurt as he has football all of the time and would have trouble keeping up a relationship. I then made the mistake of telling the wrong person and unfortunately, it wasn’t long before the whole school knew. He boards so people wouldn’t stop teasing him about the whole thing and wouldn’t leave him alone about it. He then texted me at the end of the week saying he couldn’t be with me because he felt too much pressure and he didn’t like the feeling so he couldn’t ‘focus’. When he sent me the message, I tried my best to stop him from thinking the way he was but I couldn’t. I cried for so long and felt too weak to even do everyday things at different points in each day. I honestly feel as though he could have been ‘the one’. Mainly because of the chemistry we had and the way I felt when we laughed together and teased each other. I’m scared I might never feel that way with anyone else again. I know it is hard to tell because I’m only 15 and we didn’t physically communicate, but I have never felt this way before. I admire him in so many ways and adore every thing about his personality and the way he is and I still wouldn’t change a thing even though we don’t talk anymore.
Caring for someone deeply is one of the things humans can possibly do. Putting yourself out there, being honest with others, and giving something an opportunity to grow is hard and it doesn't always work out - and that's okay. It's an inevitable part of life, whether it's a partner, a friend, family, or a trusted adult people will, sometimes purposefully and other times without meaning to, let you down. Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is the best way to move closer to a fufilling relationship. Why? Because you learn things about yourself and other people that you wouldn't otherwise. You learn what you want in a partner and in a partnership, you learn how you react to certain situations and how you want to be going forward.
In the meantime, heart break is a crappy feeling and can make the world seem at times. The best remedy for this is time, even when it doesn't feel like it the pain will be a little less each day. Focus on the friendships and relationships in your life that bring you joy. Give time to school, new and old hobbies, and things that make you happy.