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Am I Ready for Sex?

Between moving to the next level in your relationship to the risk of unplanned pregnancy or STDs, sex is a big deal…so how do you know if you’re ready? Well…there’s no magic answer but this week we’re here to answer all your questions about sex and being ready. 

Are you suppose to plan sex or let it just happen (in the moment)?

There’s no set time that you’re supposed to have sex, it’s more about what makes you and your partner most comfortable. If it makes you feel more comfortable to plan a specific time to have sex, that’s totally fine, and but if you and your partner agree to let it happen in the natural flow of your relationship, that’s totally normal, too. The most important thing is that you’re prepared with birth control, whether that’s a condom, the pill, or one of the other methods of birth control  available at your local pharmacy or through your doctor. And, for what it’s worth, planning to have sex as a “milestone moment”—like after prom or so that you don’t go away to college as a virgin—isn’t the best idea. Sex is a big deal and you and your partner should be ready for it (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Doing it because it’s prom night isn’t necessarily the best call.

For more information about all the birth control methods that are available, check out our Birth Control Explorer.

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how do you tell your parents? or do you even tell your parents?

Talking about sex with your parents can definitely be awkward, but they can be an important resource for you when you’re thinking about taking the next step with your partner. Even though it might not seem like it, your parents were once teenagers, and probably understand your situation better than you would think. Opening the lines of communications between you and your parents, even if the topic is a little bit awkward, can really help to clarify any questions that you might have about relationships and builds the trust between you. Keep in mind, though, that they may not be ready to have this conversation with you…think about it—you’ve been thinking about sex and being sexually active for a long time; this is the first time they’re hearing about it from you. So be prepared for a number of different reactions that may range from completely positive to completely negative; you know your parents, so consider how they might react before you have this convo with them and adjust accordingly.

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OK im having sex for the first time and im scared its that normal ?

It’s totally normal to be nervous before you have sex for the first time, just like any time that you’re trying something new. Making sure you’re prepared and protected with birth control may make you feel more comfortable—and that is definitely the right first step. Before you have sex, explore your options and make an appointment with your doctor.  For more information about all the methods, check out our Birth Control Explorer and if you need to find a health care provider, use our clinic finder.

If you’re scared or uncomfortable with the idea of sex or with your partner, you might not be ready to have sex yet, which is totally okay! Sex is a big deal, and it’s important that both you and your partner are comfortable and ready to take this step. Remember, there’s not a set time that you’re supposed to have sex—it’s a personal decision. 

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If my partner has already bought condoms does it seem like they're ready for sex already?

Your partner might be ready for sex, or they might just want to be prepared. Either way, you should get to the bottom of this by having a conversation with them. It might feel a little bit awkward to bring up the topic of sex, but if you guys are open and honest with each other, you will both feel a lot more comfortable in the relationship. Sex is a big deal, so it’s important to be on the same page!

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How can I convince my parents to allow me to become sexually active with my mate? I don't feel comfortable doing it behind my mom's back but she won't let me talk about the topic. Every time I bring it up she just says I'm stupid for even thinking about it. What can I do to ease her up?

Sex can be a tough topic for parents and kids to talk about, because it can be kind of awkward for both parties. If you’re looking to ease into the conversation, you might want to bring up a current event or TV show that you both watch that relates to sex, just so you both start on the same page. Remember, it doesn’t have to be just one conversation, it’s more about opening communication between you and your mom for an ongoing conversation about sex and relationships, so that you both are comfortable sharing with each other. Think about what you want to say and how you’re going to say it… Hopefully your parents will be thoughtful and patient in their response. But also be aware that they may not react as you hoped, no matter how well you explain your situation. You should listen to what they have to say because it may give you new ways of thinking about things. But it also may be the case that you have to agree to disagree on this topic for now. 

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all my friends are having sex but im to scared to do so ...is that normal?

It’s absolutely normal to be nervous about sex! Sex is a big deal, and it’s awesome that you’re being thoughtful about whether or not you’re ready. Remember, relationships can be just as good without sex, so if you’re not ready, don’t be afraid to say no. Everyone is different, and everyone is ready for sex at their own time. It’s not a problem that you’re not ready now, and it’s better that you wait until you and your partner are both protected and comfortable before having sex.

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My boyfriend cares for me a lot and though we want to have sex, he thinks masturbation would be better because it's unlikely I'll get pregnant that way. He does want to have sex sometime after that though, once we get used to each other basically and once he can buy some condoms. Is 15 to young to have sex?

You and your boyfriend are being really responsible by wanting to prepare before sex. It’s much better that you think about it now than get caught in the moment and not have protection. Looking into buying condoms is a great idea, and you may also want to look into other forms of birth control too, so that you’re doubly protected! For more information about the birth control methods that are available, check out our Birth Control Explorer.

There’s no set age when you’re supposed to start having sex—it’s more about whether or not you and your partner are ready. Having sex is a big decision to make, and it’s really important that both you and your boyfriend are comfortable and protected. Relationships can be just as good without sex, so if you aren’t ready, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue your relationship!

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I'm terrified to have sex with my boyfriend. We've been dating for just over a year now, and though I trust him completely and I feel like I'm ready for the next step, I'm scared of what others will think. I'm only 14, and if the condom breaks I could get pregnant... The pills you take to keep from getting pregnant are known for messing you up a bit inside and I don't want to take them, nor get an implant, so the condom is the only protection we'd have. Everyone says 14 is to young, that I'm just obsessive about the guy and our relationship won't last... But I love him and I know he cares for me as well. I'm just so confused on what to do!

If you’re scared or have reservations about having sex, that might be a sign that you’re not ready yet. 14 is kind of young to become sexually active and it sounds like have a lot of anxiety and fear about taking this next step with your guy. Not having sex with your partner doesn’t mean that you don’t love your boyfriend; it just means that you’re being careful and thoughtful about taking a big step in your life. Making sure that you are ready is really important. There’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex—it’s a big step and you want to make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable.

Although some methods of birth control do have side effects, there are a lot of options besides condoms and the implant, like the shot, the patch, the pill, and the ring. As far as emergency contraception goes, take a look at our EC page to learn a little more; we don’t recommend this method as your regular birth control, but it might be helpful for you to learn a bit more about how EC works and what side effects might occur if you use it. For more information about the birth control methods that are available, check out our Birth Control Explorer. You can also use our clinic finder to talk to a doctor about finding a method that you feel comfortable with. 

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Do parents give girls a "sex talk" as they do with guys? Because I'm nearly 15 and I have yet to receive one and my boyfriend wants to have sex.

Some parents do have a talk with their kids about sex, regardless of gender, and others don’t. It can be an awkward topic to bring up, whether you’re the parent or the kid, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be talked about! If your parents have not had a “sex talk” with you yet but you want some more information about sex and relationships from them, you should ask! It might feel a little bit weird to bring up this topic with your parents, and they might feel a little awkward too, but your parents are an important resource for relationship questions. If you need some ideas about how to bring it up, you might want to use a TV show that you both watch that talks about sex as a conversation opener. Remember, they were teenagers once too, so they understand what you’re going through! 

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My family says sex before marriage is wrong, but I'm curious. Is that bad?

It’s normal and totally okay to be curious about sex. Your teenage years are an important time for shaping your own adult opinions and values about sex, love, and relationships. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your parents about sex, try talking to a trusted friend or other adult. Deciding whether or not you’re ready to have sex is an extremely personal decision. Whether or not you decide you’re ready, it’s important to be fully informed about how to protect yourself when you do have sex.

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I don't want to have sex for the first time in college, is it bad to try to make sure it happens in high school?

Deciding when to have sex is really personal—everyone feels ready at a different time. If you and your partner both feel ready and comfortable enough with each other, that’s totally fine, but there’s no rule that you need to have sex in high school. Even if it seems like everyone around you is having sex, that’s actually not true…some are, some aren’t, and some are lying about it. There is no set time when you should be having sex—it’s all about personal comfort. And having sex just to get it over with isn’t always the best idea, so think carefully about why you feel the need to go into college without your virginity. Remember, it’s super important to use protection if you do decide to have sex. For more information about the birth control methods that are available, check out our Birth Control Explorer.

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I wanna have sex, but I'm too scared I'll get pregnant

Thanks for coming to us! Being scared of pregnancy is natural, but there are a bunch of ways to prevent that if you’re thinking about having sex. Start by checking out our Birth Control Explorer to find out what kind of birth control is available to you. If you do decide that you and your partner are ready to have sex, it’s important that you guys use protection. You might also want to consider seeing a doctor to discuss which birth control method will work best for you, and if you need help finding a doctor or clinic, check out our clinic locator!

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I want to have sex with my boyfriend but protection (many different kinds) didn't work for my parents and so i am worried it wont work for me... what should i do?

There are a ton of different birth control methods that are available now and weren’t  when your parents were looking into birth control.  The best thing that you can do is talk to your doctor—they should be able to help you find a birth control method that works for you and will be able to address any concerns that you might have! If you need help finding a doctor or clinic, use our clinic locator. Keep in mind that different methods of birth control have different levels of effectiveness—some (like IUDs and the implant) are better than others. That said, any time you have sex, you do run a risk of pregnancy, so talk to your health care provider about what method would work best with your life and is also the most effective you can use.

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This guy and I are really good friends. He's a lot younger than me. I think he said he's done it before, but I never have. He wants me to let him be my first time. I'm just scared if I do I'll end up pregnant or get an STD. I'm on the pill too. I don't know what to do. I keep saying I'm busy but I just can't face him.

It sounds like you need to have a talk with this guy and let him know that you might not be ready. If you feel pressured or uncomfortable in this situation, you don’t need to have sex! It might seem like everyone is doing it, but that’s just not the case. And there’s no schedule that you’re supposed to follow in terms of when you’re supposed to have sex. You’ve probably heard it a million times, but it’s true—sex is a big decision, and one that you should make when you’re completely comfortable with your partner. If that’s not the case with this guy, that’s really okay! Just let him know that you’re not interested, and if he keeps asking you, consider talking to a friend or trusted adult about the situation, because that kind of pressure is not okay.

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I have a boyfriend and he is nice but I'm only 14 sometimes all he talks about is sexual stuff we can do. He said I have the choice to say no, but I really feel like I don't. What's should I do?

You always have the choice to say no, and if you don’t feel like you’re ready for sex yet, saying no is definitely the right call. Your boyfriend might not know that you’re feeling pressured, so it’s a good idea to have a talk with him and let him know that you’re not ready right now; clearly tell him your boundaries and make sure he sticks to the ground rules you set. If he keeps talking about sexual stuff, or if you feel uncomfortable or pressured, you have the right to walk away, shut him down, or end the relationship. If you don’t feel like you can get him to respect your wishes, consider talking to a parent or a trusted adult about what’s going on, because that kind of pressure isn’t healthy in a relationship. Relationships can be just as good without sex, so if you’re not ready, that’s perfectly cool and your boyfriend should respect that decision.

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If it's the first time for the both of us what I'm supposed to do? Or if it's the first time just for me how should I be?

When you’re having sex for the first time, there are two important things to keep in mind: comfort and protection. Whether it’s your first time or not, you and your partner should both be comfortable with each other and ready to take your relationship to the next level. You guys will be taking a big step together, and it’s key that you’re both ready for sex. Second, protection is necessary. You’re not going to be able to relax if you’re worrying about getting pregnant, so check out our Birth Control Explorer and see what methods of birth control are available to you! Planning in advance and having a conversation with your partner about protection will make your experience so much better. It’s natural to be nervous the first time, but if you and your partner are ready and protected, that will take a lot of the stress away!

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Is it better for you to have sex with another virgin or a partner that has already had sex?

It can go either way! The most important thing is that both you and your partner are comfortable with each other and protected if you decide to have sex, because it is a big step. It sounds corny, but it’s true—it’s so much better to be prepared for sex than to get caught up in the moment and get stuck without protection. 

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When in the relationship do you know if you're ready to have sex for the first time?

There’s no set time that you’re supposed to have sex, it’s more about what makes you and your partner most comfortable. Do a gut check to see if you're ready for sex. Then check in with your partner to see how they're feeling. If it makes you feel more comfortable to plan a specific time to have sex, that’s totally fine, and but if you and your partner agree to let it happen in the natural flow of your relationship, that’s totally normal, too.

The most important thing is that you’re prepared with birth control, whether that’s a condomthe pill, or one of the other methods of birth control  available at your local pharmacy or through your doctor. And, for what it’s worth, planning to have sex as a “milestone moment”—like after prom or so that you don’t go away to college as a virgin—isn’t the best idea. Sex is a big deal and you and your partner should be ready for it (physically, mentally, and emotionally). Doing it because it’s prom night isn’t necessarily the best call.

For more information about all the birth control methods that are available, check out our Birth Control Explorer.

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Why do people mostly talk about sex? Why do people really want it? Sometimes I think about it is that bad I'm only 15 and I'm thinking about sex? I don't want to do it when I'm 15 maybe, but maybe when I'm 20 I will.

Sex is all around us, it's in the movies, music, TV, and magazines. People talk about what they see, and in the 21st century they see a lot of sex. Many people also want to act like what they're seeing in popular entertainment. Plus, sex can be really fun and it's a way for a couple to show each other intimacy. 

It's totally normal for you to think about sex even if you're not ready to have it. There is no timeline for when you'll be ready, but thinking about sex is a way to learn about your likes and dislikes and is a totally natural part of life. 

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What age is appropriate for sex?

There is no one age that will apply to everyone. Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is all about personal comfort—everyone is ready at different times.

Start by asking yourself the tough questions that only you can answer.  What are my motivations for having sex? What do I need emotionally from my partner and myself? How does my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex? Regardless of whether your relationship is casual or monogamous, it’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, particularly when having sex for the first time.  

Before you have sex, you should think about what you’ll do to stay safe from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. It’s a good idea to check out your birth control options and talk to your doctor to get birth control if you’re going to have the kind of sex that puts you at risk of unplanned pregnancy (vaginal, a.k.a. penis in vagina sex).   

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How could you enjoy sex?

Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is all about personal comfort—everyone is ready at different times. If it sounds gross to you that might be a sign you're not yet ready. If you're questioning if you're ready ask youself a few questions: What are my motivations for having sex? What do I need emotionally from my partner and myself? How does my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex? Regardless of whether your relationship is casual or monogamous, it’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, particularly when having sex for the first time.

While not everyone enjoys having sex, for those who do, everyone has their own reason; it's kinda like how every has a different favorite food. For some it's about making your body feel good. For others it's about getting closer to a partner. Some people view sex as an exploration of their body and some as a way to foster emotional intimacy. Others like to have sex for stress relief or just to have fun. 

If you decide you are ready, make sure to use birth control to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnancy. Our Birth Control Explorer is the great place to start. Make an appointment with your health care provider so you can feel comfortable using the method that's best for you. 

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Everyone is doing it?

It might feel like everyone around you is having sex, don't feel as though you need to join in just to fit in. Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is all about personal comfort—everyone is ready at different times. If you're questioning if you're ready, ask yourself a few questions: What are my motivations for having sex? What do I need emotionally from my partner and myself? How does my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex? Regardless of whether your relationship is casual or monogamous, it’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, particularly when having sex for the first time.

If you decide you are ready, make sure to use birth control to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnancy. Our Birth Control Explorer is the great place to start. Make an appointment with your health care provider so you can feel comfortable using the method that's best for you. 

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It's almost the end of the school year and me and my guy friend have always joked about oral sex together. We are about to go into 7th grade summer and we both feel like we want our first experience to be together. Also, I think I like him. We are highly considering our plans for me to go down on him and I want to. I know things like this should be intimate, but I want to know what it's like before I do it to someone I actually know I love. Where should we go through with our plan?

It sounds like you and your friend have talked things through extensively and are totally on the same page, which is great! Being comfortable with the person that you engage in any kind of sexual first with is very important. It's also important that you're comfortable in the location that you choose. You'll likely want somewhere private, or at the very least away from family or any potential embarrassing walk-in moments. If that's not something you can find you may want to wait so you don't have to spend the entire experience with one ear listening for the door. 

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I'm single, but if future my boyfriend wants to have sex and I don't want to what should I do?

It's great that you're thinking ahead! Start by asking yourself the tough questions that only you can answer. What will my motivations for having sex be? What will I need emotionally from my partner and myself? How should my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex? Regardless of whether your relationship ends up being casual or monogamous, it’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, particularly when having sex for the first time.

Before you have sex, you should also think about what you’ll do to stay safe from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. It’s a good idea to check out your birth control options and talk to your doctor to get birth control if you’re going to have the kind of sex that puts you at risk of unplanned pregnancy (vaginal, a.k.a. penis in vagina sex).  

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Are you a prude if you wait until your older to have sex?

In 2017, only 39.5% of high school students reported having sex, as compared to 47.8% of students in 2007. So if you decide to wait, not only are you not a prude, but you're also not alone. If you're thinking about having sex here are a few questions to ask yourself: 

  • What are my motivations for having sex?
  • What do I need emotionally from my partner and myself?
  • How does my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex?

Regardless of whether your relationship is casual or monogamous, it’s important to feel that you have a safe place and a partner you trust, particularly when having sex for the first time.

Before you have sex, you should think about what you’ll do to stay safe from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. It’s a good idea to check out your birth control options and talk to your doctor to get birth control if you’re going to have the kind of sex that puts you at risk of unplanned pregnancy (vaginal, a.k.a. penis in vagina sex).  

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My boyfriend wants to take it to the next level, but I don’t know what to do?

If you're not sure that you're ready to have sex, that's totally ok! Try asking yourself a few questions to understand what you're thinking about: What are my motivations for having sex? What do I need emotionally from my partner and myself? How does my partner make me feel about myself? About having sex?

If you're nervous about taking it to the next level because you don't feel you know what to do in bed, that's also totally ok! It's normal to feel unsure when trying new things, sexual or not. Talk to your boyfriend before you try anything new to make sure you're on the same page about what is going to happen. Make sure that he knows that you're nervous and might want to stop or take breaks as you go. (Remember, you can always say no, even if you've said yes before.) Communication is key in every relationship so talk to you boyfriend as you go or afterwards to see how you each felt about what happened and what could be better next time. 

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What is the best way to ask your boyfriend about his past sex life?

The best way to find out about your boyfriend’s past sex life is just to ask, but there is no guarantee his answers won’t make you uncomfortable. Even though you might be nervous about having that conversation, honest communication is an important part of a healthy relationship. It’s a good idea to have that conversation when it’s just the two of you (and not in front of your friends). If you’re not comfortable bringing it up out of the blue, try connecting it to a movie or TV show that you both watch. It’s important that you know about each other’s sexual past, so don’t feel weird for wanting to know! He might be wondering the same thing about you, too.

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How should I feel about the fact that my boyfriend isn't a virgin and I am? Thinking about sex with him should be exciting, but it only gives me knots in my stomach and I'm uncomfortable whenever things get heated between us.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about it. It’s not unusual that one person is more experienced; plenty of relationships form between two people who haven’t done the same things. If you’re feeling uncomfortable or worried, try talking to your boyfriend about it. Open and honest communication about your relationship may make you two even closer. You should both be on the same page about relationship expectations, and if he’s worth your time, he will understand and wait until you’re ready.

Sex is a huge step in a relationship, so it’s really important that you feel ready, safe, and respected before you jump in.  If you’re not ready yet, that’s totally okay! There’s no set time when you’re supposed to have sex in a relationship, and it should be something that you want to do, not an obligation.

If you do decide that you’re ready for sex, birth control should definitely be part of the conversation. Making sure that you’re protected against pregnancy and STIs is important every time you have sex (even the first time). To see what birth control methods are available to you, check out the Birth Control Explorer or have a chat with your health care provider.

 

 

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My boyfriend wants to do stuff with me, but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. What should I do?

If you’re not ready, you should say something to your boyfriend. Honest communication is really important in a relationship. If you feel like you are on different pages, it might be good for you to talk about what you’re both expecting (and ready for) in the relationship.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait. If you’re not ready to be physical yet, it doesn’t mean that you don’t like your boyfriend (and you can tell him that). Relationships can be just as fun and fulfilling without sex, and there’s no specific time when you’re supposed to start having sex. If this guy is worth your time, he’ll understand and wait until you’re ready.

If you’re ever feeling pressured or intimidated in a relationship, reach out to an adult for help or check out the resources at LoveisRespect.Org. You always deserve to feel safe and respected in a relationship. If someone isn’t respecting you or makes you feel unsafe, they aren’t worth your time.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we just started to have sex. It hurts and he keeps asking if we can do it again and I'm just not really into it right now. Is that normal and what do I tell him?

You should be honest with your boyfriend. Sex should NEVER feel like an obligation, and if you don’t want to have sex right now, let him know. If he’s worth your time, he'll understand. Have a conversation and let him know what you’re feeling and give him the chance to respond. It might feel awkward to bring up, but you should feel comfortable talking with your partner about what you need. He should respect that you don’t want to have sex right now—and if he doesn’t, you might want to think about whether this relationship is worth it.

Sex definitely shouldn’t hurt, so it’s a good idea to have a chat with your health care provider. They should be able to help you figure out why sex hurts, and recommend a solution. Until then, you should probably hold off on sex anyway—you don’t need to put yourself through a painful situation. Need help finding a healthcare professional? Check out the Clinic Locator to find a provider near you.

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Why do some teens choose abstinence?

There are lots of reasons that teens might choose abstinence. Sometimes it’s a personal choice or religious beliefs, because someone’s just not ready, or because they know that abstinence is the only 100% effective form of birth control. There’s nothing wrong about not being ready for or not wanting to have sex—only about half (54%) of high school students are sexually active.

Relationships can be just as fulfilling without sex, and if it’s something that you and your partner aren’t ready for, it’s a good idea to wait. Sex is a big step in a relationship, so it’s really important that you both are ready and comfortable before you jump in.

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What if I'm ready but my boyfriend's not?

If your boyfriend isn’t ready for sex, it’s important you respect that. I’m sure you’d want the same thing from him if the situation was reversed, and it’s important that you both feel ready and comfortable before you take things to the next level.

One way that you can help him be more comfortable is to have an honest conversation about your relationship. Be honest with him about what you’re feeling and expecting, and let him do the same. See if there’s anything you can do to understand or help reduce any concerns he has. If he’s just not ready, then you two need wait—it will be so much better when you’re both completely comfortable.

Something that might help is talking about protection: what birth control method are you going to use, how are you going to get it, etc. Don’t forget condoms too, since they’re the only birth control method that also protects against STIs! If you’re wondering what methods are available to you, check out our Birth Control Explorer and have a conversation with your health care provider.

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Lately my boyfriend has been wanting to get physical, not sex but other stuff. We've been dating for only 3 months and I'm afraid it will ruin our relationship. How do you know it's the right time to get physical?

T.B.H, you’ll know when the moment is right. If it doesn’t feel right yet, then don’t feel pressured to get more physical than you’re ready for. It’s totally okay to take things slow.

It’s great that you’re being so thoughtful about your relationship, and it’s important that you’re completely comfortable with your partner before things get physical. If you’re feeling nervous about taking things to the next level, it might be a good idea to have an honest conversation with your boyfriend. Let him know what’s on your mind and listen to any thoughts or concerns he might have. Honest communication is super important in any relationship, especially when you’re thinking of taking things to another level.

Talking with your boyfriend might help alleviate some of your concerns, and being on the same page is absolutely necessary before you two move any further. If you’re not ready, just be honest with him. If he’s worth your time, he’ll be understanding and realize that you both need to be comfortable before things move further. 

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What should I expect if I'm a virgin but my boyfriend is not?

Dating someone more experienced isn’t unusual, and doesn’t need to be scary. His past experiences don’t take away from your current relationship—we all come different pasts, and that’s totally okay.

If you’re worried because your boyfriend is more sexually experienced than you, try having an honest conversation with him. Let him know what you’re ready for in the relationship, and give him time to respond. He may (or may not) have expectations about how physical he wants to get in this relationship and how quickly, but if he really cares about you, he’ll respect whatever makes you feel most comfortable—even if that means moving slowly. Strong, healthy relationships are built on communication, so it’s important that you both are open with each other and share your expectations.

If you’re thinking about becoming more physical in the future, you’ll want to talk about it and make sure you’re both on the same page. (And don’t forget to talk about birth control and protection ahead of time!) Someone who really cares about you will care about moving at a pace that you’re comfortable with.

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I feel pressured into a physical relationship, but I want to please my boyfriend...how do I find a good balance?

You should never feel pressured to do anything that you’re not comfortable with in a relationship. A healthy relationship is one where you never feel obligated to please your partner, and you’re able to talk openly and honestly about what you’re both ready to do physically. If your boyfriend is pressuring you into taking things to a level you’re not comfortable with, you should talk to him about it or seek out a trusted adult for support. Someone who really loves you will want to move at a pace that you’re comfortable with instead of pressuring you to go further.

If you’re feeling pressured in a relationship, that’s not healthy. You deserve to be loved and respected. For more information about leaving a pressuring or abusive relationship, visit LoveisRespect.Org.

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My boyfriend and I have taken it to the next level multiple times. In the moment I've always been more than okay with it, but then the next day or so I start to think if I made the right choice or not, it's almost like regret. Is this healthy?

The only person who can answer that is you. Taking things to the next level is a really personal decision, and it’s one that you really have to be ready for. Maybe take some time to think about your relationship, and make sure that you haven’t felt pressured to go further than you were comfortable with. Sex shouldn’t be something that causes feels of regret or guilt, so think about what’s making you feel this way.

You might also want to bring up how you’re feeling with your boyfriend. It doesn’t have to be an intense conversation, but let him know how you’re feeling and let him respond. He might be feeling some of the same things, and healthy relationships are built on open communication. Getting on the same page about how you’re both feeling about the relationship and your sexual experiences might relieve some of the regret that you’re feeling.

If you decide that you aren’t ready for sex right now, that’s totally okay! There’s no timeline for when you’re supposed to be ready for sex, and you should only be getting physical when you’re comfortable with taking that step. No matter how long you’ve been with someone or how many times you’ve done something, you have the right to say no at any time, for any reason. Plus, if this guy really cares about you, he’ll be willing to wait until you both feel comfortable being that physical together.

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What is supposed to happen in the relationship if the boyfriend is giving the girlfriend everything she wants, besides SEX? How will the relationship usually end?

Have you and your boyfriend discussed sex before? If not, this is where you should start before you begin to think about the end of the relationship. Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship and it is something everyone has to practice and adjust for in each relationship. While you might have different styles of communication, being able to have honest and open conversations with your partner, even when its uncomfortable or painful, is so important. Talk to him about how he feels about sex and explain how you feel. Remember to remain calm and stay honest. Hopefully, by talking through how you feel you'll be able to come to a solution that works for both of you. 

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