The fact that my parents didn’t like Meena, my girlfriend senior year, wasn’t so bad. They knew better than to make a big deal of their disapproval or tell a teenager whom to date. The problem arrived, however, when my mom came home early from work one day and caught Meena and me taking our lunch break at home…in my bed…. After she sternly commanded: "get your butt to class," I made record time getting dressed and to the school building. 

I spent the rest of the day terrified of going back to my house. My parents and I hadn’t had “The Talk,” but it seemed inevitable now. When I returned home they were waiting for me ready for our big discussion.

"Do we need to have the talk?"

"Errrrr…"

"Not in my damn house."

I couldn’t tell if I was lucky for such a short conversation on the subject or not. On the one hand I felt like I had dodged a bullet—no being grounded, no being forbidden to see Meena again, not even a lecture—but on the other I didn’t know what to do with this newly imposed rule. Did my parents not want me dating at all? Did they have any thoughts on whether or not I was protecting myself? How did they know I was ready? Maybe I was missing out on a moment, no matter how awkward, to talk about something really important.

Two things happen to a lot of people that choose to be sexually active: 1) Eventually someone walks in on them while they’re in the middle of things, resulting in the most embarrassing moment of their life to date. And 2) Their parents talk to them about sex. Research shows that more than two out of every three male teens and almost four out of every five female teens talked with a parent about sex. If so many teenagers are having these conversations with their parents, why are we all so scared to talk?

While mom and dad might not always have the most up-to-date and medically accurate information when it comes to sex, preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and unwanted pregnancy, they are still another valuable source of information. They only want the best for us, they help us think twice about our decisions, they share with us what’s important to them, and they give us advice they hope points us in the right direction.

You don’t have to wait—in fact you shouldn’t wait—until one of them stumbles in on you and your significant other with your pants down to talk to your parents about sex. There are hypothetical questions to help you broach the subject, "what would you think if I was thinking about having sex?" There are the personal questions for those brave enough to hear the overshare answer, "when did you first start having sex?" And of course you can always put some distance between you in the subject by saying it’s someone else, "A lot of my friends are starting to have sex and I’m not sure how I feel about it."

You don’t have to have one big talk and it won’t be the only place you go for information about sex, but trust me on this part: starting the conversation with your parents is way less awkward than having them walk in on you doing it. Would you start a conversation with your parents about sex? If so, how would you begin?