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Dealing With the Pressure to Have Sex
Prom season...graduation season. Spring is all about special occasions, and sometimes that means added pressure to have sex. We're here to help. Ask Us Anything!
How do I bring up the topic of sex with my girlfriend without feeling like I'm pressuring her?
Let your girlfriend know that you want to talk to her about your relationship, but that there’s no pressure or expectation attached to the conversation. Tell her where you’re at and let her be open and honest with you. Make sure she knows that you’re not trying to pressure her, but that you want to make sure that you’re both on the same page. Communication is really important in any relationship, so it’s important that you two have this talk. If you’re uncomfortable bringing it up out of the blue, you might want to use a TV show or movie that you’ve both seen that relates to the topic as an opener. Any way you bring it up, remember that it’s important you both feel completely ready and comfortable before things heat up.
If you do decide that you’re ready for sex, it’s really important that you use protection. To see what options are available to you, check out our Birth Control Explorer, or have a chat with your doctor.
How do I tell someone no when they ask for sex?
Sex should never feel like an obligation. If you’re being pressured to have sex, that’s not a healthy relationship. If you’re not ready or don’t want to have sex, all you should have to say is no. If you’re not being pressured but don’t know how to respond, you might want to have a conversation about what you’re both ready for and comfortable with in terms of getting physical to make sure you’re on the same page. Bottom line: it’s your body, so it’s your choice. If you don’t want to have sex, say no. If you’re being pressured by someone to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, tell a trusted adult or check out the resources at LoveIsRespect.Org.I find this helpful
I'm going off to college in the fall and I will be living 3 hours away from my boyfriend. We've been talking about sex for a few months, and I'm not sure if we should have sex before I go away or if that will just make me miss him more. What should I do?
Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is a really personal decision, and there’s no specific time in a relationship when you’re supposed to start having sex. It’s something you’re going to have to think about really carefully. Where do you see the relationship going forward? It’s awesome that you guys have already talked about sex, and it might be time to have another conversation. Let him know your concerns and give him the chance to respond. It’s really important that you both feel ready and comfortable before you have sex. Make sure that you’re on the same page about next year, because long distance can be really hard.
Once you and this guy talk about your expectations for next year, if you both feel ready and comfortable with the idea of having sex, there’s no reason not to go for it. If you decide that you’re ready for sex, use protection. To see what options are available to you, check out our Birth Control Explorer, or have a chat with your health care provider.I find this helpful
Lately, my boyfriend has been wanting to get physical, not sex but other stuff. We've been dating for 6 months and I'm afraid it will ruin our relationship. How do you know it's the right time to get physical? How do I know he's not just using me?
There’s no set time in a relationship when you’re supposed to start getting physical; the most important thing is that you and your partner both feel ready and comfortable. If you’re worried, the best thing you can do is just to talk to him! Open and honest communication is really important in a healthy relationship. Tell him why you’re concerned and let him respond. It’s important that you guys are on the same page to avoid pressure or miscommunication. If you’re not ready to get physical, that’s perfectly fine! It’s your body, and you should never feel pressured into a situation that makes you uncomfortable. If you feel like he's using you, that might be a sign your relationship isn't in a good place to move forward physically. To learn more about helathy relationships check out LoveIsRespect.orgI find this helpful