If you’re getting ready to pack up for college and you’re planning to keep things going with your bf/gf, it’s time to start thinking about the dreaded long distance relationship. So how do you keep things going when you don’t see each other every single day? Check out these tips to ease the transition from no distance to LONG distance.
- Make time for dates. Just like you would prioritize seeing your girlfriend or boyfriend if they lived in the same town as you, you have to prioritize spending time with them when they’re far away. Yes, that time might be on the phone or via Facetime/Skype, but it still needs to hold the same weight as if you were making plans to see them in person.
- Keep them in the loop. It can be tiring to re-hash every detail of what’s going on in your life to someone who’s not there experiencing it with you. But keeping each other up to date is going to help you feel connected and keep your relationship strong even when you’re far apart.
- Separate your frustrations. Long distance relationships can certainly suck. It’s frustrating to miss someone and not get to see them. It’s difficult to coordinate schedules so that you feel you have enough time with each other (be it in-person time or online). Don’t confuse the frustration you have with the situation to be frustrations you have with the relationship. Just because a situation is difficult doesn’t mean it’s someone’s fault. There are times you may feel fed up, unfulfilled, lonely, or disconnected. But before you start a fight about it, figure out if it’s the distance that’s causing those problems or your partner.
- Don’t use the distance as an excuse. On the other end of the spectrum, don’t blame the distance for a problem that is actually caused by the relationship. Long distance can be complicated, but you shouldn’t let that cloud your judgment about how you feel about the relationship or a way your partner is acting. In other words, don’t lower your standards or expectations just because you don’t live close by your partner.
- Check yourself. The temptation to cheat can be strong when you’re in a long distance relationship because you’ll likely go through periods that you feel lonely. Before you do anything you regret, sort out your feelings. Is this new person who has come into your life really SO amazing? Are they really a person who should be threatening your relationship and making you reevaluate? Or is it just that you’re lonely and miss having your companion close by?
- Use Skype/Facetime. A picture is worth 1,000 words. While texting, e-mailing, and talking on the phone can be great for quick catch ups, being able to see each other’s faces will help to keep you feeling connected. It’s certainly not a substitute for being there in person, but at least it’s something!
- Expect an adjustment period. People get used to their routines. And for better or for worse, you may get completely used to your long distance relationship. That means that if you and your bf/gf starts to live in the same place as you, it might actually feel strange. Expect this strangeness and don’t be bugged out by it. Being in a relationship with someone who lives close to you is a completely different ball game and it may take a while to get into the swing of it. Things may actually get worse for a while before they get better. As exciting as it will be to finally have your honey home, it will also take some adjusting.
Have you successfully navigated a long distance realtionship? Tell us how you did it in the comments!