Can guys be victims of dating violence?

 
Can guys be victims of dating violence?

The answer is absolutely.

Dating violence can take many forms, including:

  • Physical abuse: any intentional use of physical force meant to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking, or using a weapon.
  • Emotional abuse: non-physical behavior such as threats, insults, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, or stalking.
  • Sexual abuse: any action that forces undesired sexual behavior on you by another person. This includes making you do anything you don’t want to do sexually, refusing to have safe sex, aggressively pressuring you to go further than you want to sexually, or making you feel badly about yourself sexually.

While it may seem like women are the only ones who deal with dating violence, male-victim domestic violence is easy to miss—common stereotypes make it incredibly difficult for a man to admit that his partner has abused him in any way. The fact is, women can hit, call names, and behave violently and abusively just as much as men can. 

The Mayo Clinic advises that domestic violence can include a range of things and includes a partner who:

  • Calls you names, insults you, or puts you down,
  • Prevents you from going to work or school,
  • Stops you from seeing family members or friends,
  • Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, or what you wear,
  • Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful,
  • Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs,
  • Threatens you with violence or a weapon,
  • Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes, or otherwise hurts you,
  • Assaults you while you're sleeping  or not paying attention to make up for a difference in strength,
  • Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will, and/ or
  • Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it.

So while 1 in 3 women will experience dating violence in her lifetime, let’s not forget the boys…and whether male or female, victims can start by telling someone about the abuse, whether it's a friend, relative, health care provider, or other close contact. At first, you may find it hard to talk about the abuse. But you'll also likely feel relief and receive much-needed support.

Get more info and advice about dating violence on our National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month page. Then tell us in the comments what you think about dating violence. Have you experienced it? Know anyone who has?

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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON APRIL 29, 2011 AT 6:23 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Everyone has problems. It doesnt matter if you feel guilty for leaving your "loved" one because they abused you. Its there fault.

ON APRIL 27, 2011 AT 2:11 PM, EYELID MOVIES SAID:

Girls don't know what they're talking about nowadays and asume All, guys acn be violent.. Hate that damn thng.

ON APRIL 26, 2011 AT 9:54 AM, TONDI (: SAID:

I myslef have never been in a physical abusive relationship. But ive been in a emotional one. And it hurts just like an abusive one. Being called terrible names every morning you wake up and you wonder "What did I do to deserve this? All I do is love him and this is what I get." It is really hard to get out of an abusive relationship becausee you really think you love this person. You think that they will change and the only way that they will change is that if your with them. But they never will. My ex always pleaded with me to stay. He promised he'd change. He'd make up excuses "I'm always really stressed." Or "Work has been killing me lately" But they will try anything to get you too stay. Whats even harder is trying to explain to your parents where all the bruises are coming from. Or why youre always crying. Why you're never around anymore. There are plenty of ways to escape from an abusive relationship. Its called family. Its called friends.And if they're true they wil help you get away from it. No one deserves to be abused mentaly physically or verbally. (Please excuse my grammar and or spelling)

ON APRIL 20, 2011 AT 10:39 PM, NEISHA SAID:

I hate when boys think they can run all over girls/woman all because they are growing up to be men what they dont understand is that if they put there hands on a girl/woman they are is going to be call a woman abuser

ON APRIL 17, 2011 AT 2:36 PM, SHASTA SAID:

Defiantly!!! I've saw it happen before. I know a lot of guys who have been abused, by them not being able to do anything because they were always scared of their girlfriend breaking up with them. Even if it meant just talking to another girl.

ON APRIL 13, 2011 AT 6:47 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Absolutely. A girl in a relationship can be just as controlling as a guy in a relationship or even physical to him. You don't hear as much about it though.

ON APRIL 13, 2011 AT 1:42 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Heck yeah!!! Guys can absolutely be victims of dating violence! My friends sister throws plates at her boyfriend,,, and he just takes it!!
( What a man!)
I mean I would have done broken up with her!

ON APRIL 12, 2011 AT 1:39 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

guys think they rule the relationship

ON APRIL 9, 2011 AT 1:14 PM, THINK ABOUT IT SAID:

Thats what I hate. Most people dont think that guys cant be the one getting hurt because "guys are stronger than girls." No. Thats not the case. Guys can be hurt just like girls can, they can also be the ones that get raped. Most people only think girls are the ones who get hurt and are the only ones who can get raped. And if there are any girls or guys who are on this site and have been raped or abused [mentally or physicality] who haven't told anyone yet, tell someone, tell your best friend, or your parents, or even that shy girl in your Math class. If they say things like, "I'll kill you or myself if you break up with me," or "If you tell anyone your never see your parents ever again." And dont think that these saying are way out there, their not, actually. Tell someone.

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:27 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

ive been in a abusive relationship and its very hard to get out of it , because you love the person so much and its hard to let qo and they put so much thinqs in your head and you think so neqative tht you just dnt care for yourself anymore so you just qive up & thts not a good thinq . iqot out of it and it was hard buht if you want help ican help you every step of the way .. just reply to thiss ! : ) KEEP YA HEADD UPP

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:03 PM, MYSTYNIA SAID:

its so horrible that peoplke get hurt while dating..... you know how when the little boy is throwing rocks at the little girl and she goes crying home, her mother tells her that he likes her...... she then goes through life thinking that the reason she is getting hurt is because he loves her....... its really sad!!!!!!!!

ON APRIL 8, 2011 AT 3:00 PM, MYSTYNIA SAID:

i love this site!!!1

ON APRIL 6, 2011 AT 11:10 AM, JANAE SAID:

yes anyone can be abused phisicle and none phisicle

ON APRIL 5, 2011 AT 3:32 PM, MARY SAID:

I think my bf is sexy even if he was a NERD!

ON APRIL 3, 2011 AT 2:37 AM, ME SAID:

My bf and I r in Tae Kwan Do and one of the requrements is sparring[fighting] we normaly have to spar with each other because we're the same hight and about the same weight is that considered abuse?

ON APRIL 3, 2011 AT 4:25 PM, STAY TEEN SAID:

@ ME:

Sparring during Tae Kwon Do practice, which is something you have to do to practice your sport, is not dating abuse.  Dating abuse is when your partner intentionally behaves in a violent way towards you, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.

ON MARCH 29, 2011 AT 2:54 PM, OMG_ITS_OBVIOUS_GIRL SAID:

nobody should be abused. Guys just need to speak up. duh!

ON MARCH 25, 2011 AT 12:53 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i have been with my man for almost three years now and he had has been abused me many times..., i guess i stay cause i feel like i need him and i love him we have been though so much so i think maybe i should stay and learn how to deal with it .....it hurts so much he drinks n does drugs and for some reason i still stay .

ON MARCH 24, 2011 AT 1:27 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

if some one abuses you you better tell some one before it gets worse

ON MARCH 23, 2011 AT 11:43 AM, TAE BAE .012 SAID:

male and female can get abruse .. . .. its not just boys dats strong is sum women out dare to .

ON MARCH 21, 2011 AT 1:36 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i had a bf that abused me all the time

ON MARCH 18, 2011 AT 1:18 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Men and women can be a victim of dating violence!! But if u r a victim u need to tell someone!!!!WHO CARES WHO IT IS!!!

ON MARCH 16, 2011 AT 10:59 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think guys need to be more open of they are involved in dating violence

ON MARCH 15, 2011 AT 2:07 PM, CHANTEL(: SAID:

All of the dating Violence needs to stop there's Nø reason for you to abuse someone ...!!!!

ON MARCH 13, 2011 AT 4:54 AM, ALYSSA SAID:

IF YOU ARE BEING ABUSED TELL SOMEONE ANYBODY IT DOESNT MATTER WHOJUST MAKE SURE YOU GET HELP!!!

ON MARCH 13, 2011 AT 4:52 AM, ALYSSA SAID:

Abuse can happen to ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE in this cas eit is 100% possible for a woman to abuse a man in ANY way if u r a man and r being abused dont be afraid to tell someone its not ur fault and people might not understand at first but it will get better

ON MARCH 11, 2011 AT 11:38 PM, KYKY12 SAID:

yes tho it is more common 4 girls. it can happen to boys 2.my friend used to come to school every other day with something wrong so one day i asked a i found out her boyfriend was abusing her so i talked to him and her and now there just fine every time he gets mad he just squeezes a beanie. so now were all cool.

ON MARCH 11, 2011 AT 11:44 AM, KORTNEY SAID:

Why would a guy that "loved" you even wanna hit the girl? I mean when i was 8 i saw my moms head get smashed against a wall .. . My mom stood up for her kids and took self defense. I thnk if any girl has ever been abused then they needa speak up and tell .

ON MARCH 10, 2011 AT 5:25 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

fer a quy to suffer physical violence is very rare.
so i think its werid.:)

ON MARCH 10, 2011 AT 4:23 PM, BRITTTANY JONES SAID:

these boys rapeing girls is rediculos

ON MARCH 10, 2011 AT 1:14 PM, CASEY R. =) SAID:

Abuse happens to every one male and female not any one sex is different, if you have been abused it does not make you less of a person it just makes you stronger.

ON MARCH 9, 2011 AT 2:32 PM, STEPHANIE SAID:

i wantedto have sex at age 12 but i got scared and my boyfriend beat me but i atomatically broke up with him

ON MARCH 8, 2011 AT 8:13 PM, SCOTT SAID:

My mom was hit HARD and she just left with me that is the answer she taught me even once is to much.

ON MARCH 8, 2011 AT 6:18 PM, BOOTYBOP SAID:

if u need help get it now no more waiting!

ON MARCH 7, 2011 AT 2:57 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

anyone can be a victim

ON MARCH 7, 2011 AT 2:56 PM, KAITLIN SAID:

it is very wrong

ON MARCH 4, 2011 AT 4:46 PM, DESTINY SAID:

Yes, Though physical abuse is more common for girls, some guys endure it to. If a guy is in a relationship with any kind of abuse he should get help. In some cases guys dont realize they are in that kind of relationship...if you witness some one in an abusive relationship you should talk to them and try to help them out..if that doesnt work you should tell someone that can do something about it because abusive relationships could get worse and eventually some one could end up getting hurt.

ON MARCH 4, 2011 AT 4:35 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes they are stornger but that means nothing girls are more likely to be hurt then a guy is.. :))

ON MARCH 4, 2011 AT 12:26 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i have been a victim of dating violence. now i have a lawsuit against and go to court every 6 months

ON MARCH 3, 2011 AT 3:45 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

it is most common for girls to get abused than boys

ON MARCH 3, 2011 AT 12:59 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes they can

ON MARCH 2, 2011 AT 4:48 PM, SITA SAID:

It can be verbal abuse, mentally abuse, or physical abuse. Its more common for women to be physically and mentally abused. Although guys can be too as uncommon as it may be.

ON FEBRUARY 26, 2011 AT 5:33 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

its more common for girls tho

ON FEBRUARY 24, 2011 AT 4:20 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes because a lot of girls say things they dont do things , see with guys if they abuse u its usually physical but it heals and like i said girls say things they dont do things and that can scar people mentally and it doesnt heal

ON FEBRUARY 21, 2011 AT 10:28 AM, MR.RIGHT SAID:

sometimes violence could happen between the male or female.people always think that males start violence in a relachionship but little they know females are always bring males down.but who? knows who really starts violence in their realachionship..........

ON FEBRUARY 20, 2011 AT 6:37 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

this poll reminded me of love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna :/

ON FEBRUARY 19, 2011 AT 11:15 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

its ashamed that people are getting abused, girls dont be scared to speak up. If you dont than who else will. And boys yea it can happen to you too and if it does than end the relationship DUUH! Love is NOT abuse so if you so call love this person and there abusing you than GET REAL! Its not love!

ON FEBRUARY 18, 2011 AT 2:31 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Guys definitely have been abused in relationships just as girls have been;
The reason a guy may not be so easy to admit to it is because obviously they don't want to look weak. Anybody going through this problem might be too scared to admit what is going on, or even possibly they might think it's normal, depending on the person. Imagine being in a situation like that yourself, it wouldn't be easy would it?

ON FEBRUARY 15, 2011 AT 3:51 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes

ON FEBRUARY 14, 2011 AT 4:44 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

some times you dont know how to controll your anger problems so notice when they start and talk about them.. dont let them get to far out of hand. after my son was born I started hitting my boyfriend after we talked about it, i realized i was mad he was not helping as much as i wanted him to.

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