Can guys and girls be “just” friends?

 
Can guys and girls be “just” friends?

We would argue that friendships—be they same-sex or opposite—are complicated no matter what. Over the years we’ve all had to learn how to handle how not to date/ approach/ come on to a guy/girl my best friend likes/ liked/ dated/ wanted to date/ saw first on the first day of pre-calc/ etc. So does attraction—however vague the possibility of anything happening may be—really confuse things that much?

Tell us in the comments—do you have friends of the opposite sex? Is it ever hard to maintain the friendship without slipping into hook-up territory? Are there advantages to friends of the opposite sex that same-sex friendships don’t have?

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WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON JULY 20, 2014 AT 6:27 AM, DG SAID:

To be quiet honest. I truly don't think you can ever be just friends with a guy/girl if you are the opposite sex, because one time or another you're going to be like
"omg i may or may not like him/her" and then things will get weird and just no. but if you have a totally platonic realtionship w him/her YOU GO GLEN COCO

ON JUNE 28, 2014 AT 9:23 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I actually had a lot of friends who are guys. I used to have to sit with guys in school, plus a lot of my family friends are guys. Even if some guys may be more attractive than others, of course guys can just be friends with a girl. It is absolutely possible! Sure if you have a crush on one or two of them it might be difficult picturing you being able to sit in the same room as them without squirming in your seat once in a while and fantasizing what could happen between the two of you. But in all honest opinion, whether whatever happens between the two people, it is very possible to just be friends.

ON JUNE 12, 2014 AT 11:17 PM, AMY JERGENS SAID:

no because your going to like him some how

ON JUNE 9, 2014 AT 2:58 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Absolutely.

ON JUNE 1, 2014 AT 1:15 PM, KK SAID:

just tell me, is it possible that, one guy & girl can be just a FRIENDS like two guys OR girls............,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,...............? please tell my friendsssss.

ON MAY 8, 2014 AT 2:50 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

This is the most heteronormative thing ever. Of course guys and girls can be friends, would you be asking if a lesbian can have any female friends simply because she may be attracted to them? Or any other gay or queer person with individuals of the same gender?

ON MAY 7, 2014 AT 3:30 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm close friends with a girl and we both loved our friendship, but then biology kicked in between us (not saying ALWAYS just saying often) and now it's brutally obvious that every day we both want something more but aren't sure what to do.

ON MAY 2, 2014 AT 3:08 PM, NOT GONNA SAY MY NAME. SAID:

UM I have basketball buddies and they are all males. But because im a disgusting hot mess my guy friends dont like me that way C: thank you very much.

ON MARCH 23, 2014 AT 8:38 PM, ISABELLA SAID:

Yeah i agree with all the people that said girls and guys can be friends because it depends on the person who you are friends with just be careful with what might happen if ur not careful!

ON DECEMBER 17, 2013 AT 8:48 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Definitely, most of my close friends are guys, then again though I'm Lesbian and really barely a girl.

ON OCTOBER 14, 2013 AT 3:04 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I used to date this guy who was all sweet and all but not right. So even this day we are still friends. so i think it can happen but only ocacsionaly becouse it didn't work with my boyfriend and his ex...

ON OCTOBER 14, 2013 AT 3:02 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i think no because this guy and i were just friends anf ine night he told me he loved me and wanted more and when i said no he wasnt my friend anymore

ON SEPTEMBER 6, 2013 AT 11:43 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes I have a good friend and we have never done it

ON AUGUST 25, 2013 AT 5:27 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

YES. i think its stupid that people say that boys and girls cant be just friends. sometimes boys are just less drama and its fun to hang out with someone of the opposite sex.

ON AUGUST 23, 2013 AT 1:00 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes. Not everyone is going to start liking each other.

ON AUGUST 23, 2013 AT 12:11 PM, JAMIE LYNN SAID:

yes.
i have a guy that just my friend, and we are both straight and have no attractions to either of each other.

ON AUGUST 22, 2013 AT 3:27 PM, DAWSON<3 SAID:

depends on if you have had a previous crush on the boy or girl

ON JULY 13, 2013 AT 7:35 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes girls and guys can be friends long as they dont have feeelings for each other

ON JULY 8, 2013 AT 12:49 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i think its cool for guys and girls to be friends

ON JULY 3, 2013 AT 2:09 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

No. Someone always develops feelings sooner or later. Lets be real here.

ON JUNE 12, 2013 AT 1:40 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Me and my friend Charles .. USED to date .But now me and him are just friends. It's great to have someone who cares about you by your side .Whether you guys dated.. or didnt. C:

ON JUNE 8, 2013 AT 8:44 AM, A GIRL VERSION OF BOB SAID:

Okay. Listen up peoples. You are being rediculous. Of COURSE boys and girls can be just friends. Before I started dating this guy, he was one of my closer friends. I can list at least two dozen guys that are just friends to me. If you other girls can't, there is something wrong then.

ON JUNE 7, 2013 AT 10:00 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I fell in love with my best friend and when I told him.... it just ruined our whole friendship. He avoided me for a long time and eventually I just gave up and just pretended like he wasn't there, and to my shock, he noticed me ignoring him and started talking to me again. But it went on like that for about 2 months and it was torture :(

ON MAY 19, 2013 AT 1:15 PM, KIARA SAID:

Yes, I am best friends with a boy. But I am teased. People say I am in love with him,and people tease him also.

ON MAY 15, 2013 AT 12:56 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes

ON MAY 7, 2013 AT 11:33 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yup

ON MAY 4, 2013 AT 12:53 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Guys and girls can be just friends cause I have also that's an opposite
Sex from me and we get along great!!!

ON APRIL 28, 2013 AT 9:07 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Yes they can be.... most of my best friends are guys and it isnt a bad thing.... guys are not n drama all the time like us girls so it is actually sometimes healthier to have guy friends but for some guys that isnt enough

ON APRIL 19, 2013 AT 5:21 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

NO BECAUSE ONE OF BOTH PEOPLE END UP LIKING EACH OTHER..
HAPPENED TO ME AND MY BESTFRIEND.. WE ACT LIK A COUPLE BUT DONT CAL EACH OTHER BOYFRIEND N GIRLFRIEND

ON APRIL 11, 2013 AT 8:51 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

YES guys and girls can be just friends. My best friend is a guy and people will make a big deal about saying that were dating or we are going to but i have many guys who are friends and im certainly not gunna date all of them probably none

ON APRIL 4, 2013 AT 6:16 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

of course boys and girls can be friends.

ON MARCH 8, 2013 AT 2:25 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I wish that all my guys friends would just like me as a friend. Ugh there is only guy who does not like me romantically and I really dont want a relationship thats romatic with my guy friends and I always end up having to accidently ruin the relationship :(

ON MARCH 7, 2013 AT 3:41 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes

ON MARCH 6, 2013 AT 1:54 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think guys and girls can be just friends without hooking up. If a girl hangs out with a boy then its probably because its way less drama that way. Not all friendships wit diffrenet genders end up hooking up!!!

ON MARCH 5, 2013 AT 4:04 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes

ON FEBRUARY 18, 2013 AT 4:13 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I am single girl with a number of guy friends and I don't have any intention to date any of them. Of course it's going to happen that girls and guys who are friends start dating. With a lot of guy friends though, its more of a brother-sister relationship than a boyfriend-girlfriend one.

ON FEBRUARY 15, 2013 AT 9:37 PM, NICKIRED SAID:

Ladies listen.. ive been there/currently there. If your friendship means ANYTHING to you... #DoNot make a move untill God says so. Don't let the height of your personal desires in one moment ruin a lifetime friendship. Be cautious, be smart, and conciderate (both of yall feelings are on the line aswell as the people around yall/associated with yall)... an before you do anything...#PRAY ! Cuz u culd b drinking poisened waters/entering detrimental territorries...ask God for guidence...he knows best !

ON FEBRUARY 9, 2013 AT 11:30 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I think that it depends on the relationship, like do you determine so in the beginning? But at the same time, i swear in a boy/girl friendship, the guy or the girl has feelings for the other at some point, whether shown or not.

ON FEBRUARY 6, 2013 AT 4:36 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I hang out with guys cause there less drama! And yes, i STILL have BF!! My best bff is NOT by boy friend though, we all kinda blend together, making a shield to not hook up with somebody of the opposite sex is me and my boyfriend's strong point, just dont do it and you can live your life without sex drama! :)

ON JANUARY 30, 2013 AT 12:24 PM, NADIA SAID:

Yes i have 3 guy bestes and we get along just find with all that wanna hook uhp stuf YES!!!!! its possible.

ON JANUARY 16, 2013 AT 3:12 PM, KENDRA DAWN SAID:

NO because sooner or later you will probably get feelings for one another. Ive had this happen and me and austin fell in love with eachother. After awhile i stopped it and he didnt want to then he committed suicide sadly. I feel stupid but i can't still say i love him when i really didnt anymore.

ON JANUARY 16, 2013 AT 3:06 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yes

ON JANUARY 16, 2013 AT 3:06 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

yeah

ON JANUARY 1, 2013 AT 11:58 AM, SARA SAID:

hellllllllllllllll nah

ON DECEMBER 18, 2012 AT 1:06 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

They always say that you marry your best friend.
And I have been really close to a guy for over a year now and I have seen him at worst and best.. and I completely love him. He is my best friend. we tried being just friends and it didn't work.

ON DECEMBER 9, 2012 AT 6:02 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Oh yes! Guys make awesome friends :) Until they start to like you. That's a problem...

ON NOVEMBER 27, 2012 AT 10:23 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Of course, but it is completely normal to be attracted to your friends of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your preference). Like Anonymous (v) said, it's hardwired into our brains. There's nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting...if you're single, that is!

ON NOVEMBER 26, 2012 AT 12:47 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I have more guy friends than I have girl friends, so it's totally possible. But I have found myself crushing on a couple guy friends at one point or another. For some people, it's hard to be just friends with someone of the opposite gender because the attraction is just wired into our brains naturally.

ON NOVEMBER 20, 2012 AT 11:47 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

YES!! Of course. It doesn't matter is your different genders. I have been best friends with a guy for the past 3 years. We NEVER done anything or even thought about it. (:

ON NOVEMBER 15, 2012 AT 9:43 PM, MERIAH SAID:

yas

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