Yes, flirting is fun.  It’s exciting, makes you feel good, and at the end of the day it’s pretty harmless.  Harmless that is, unless you’re becoming a flirt.  Flirting is fine, but being a flirt is something you want to avoid.  Here’s how: 

Struggling with whether or not to de-friend your ex?  If you can check off ANY of the following boxes then I’d say yes.    

Dances in high school are awkward enough on their own. With trying to pull yourself away from the snack table to join everyone else who seems to effortlessly dance so much better than you, pretending being dropped off by your mom doesn’t make you any less cool, and acting like you actually like all the dancey pop hits the DJ blasts that have already been played to death…well…school dances are a struggle. 

Once you get to high school, a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you. Suddenly you aren’t limited to dating the boys you’ve known since kindergarten—the same ones who put gum in your hair or threw spitballs at you from across the room. Nope, you can leave those immature losers behind for a sophisticated older guy.

Guys often get a bad rap for being the ones who pressure their girlfriends into having sex. So it may surprise you to know that a lot of guys (8 out of 10 if you want to get exact) say that they feel pressured by their friends, the media, even girls, to get busy doing “it”.

In high school we have teachers to help us through tough subjects, we have coaches to guide us to victory, and a lucky few of us have older brothers who are there to give us advice as we try to figure out girls, dating, and relationships. But I didn’t have an older brother and many of you might not either. In a previous post, Maritza noted that there was tons of information she never got from her older sister that might have prevented some stupid romantic mistakes. And now it’s my turn to imagine which words of wisdom would have been most helpful from an older brother. 

Do you or someone you know suffer from these symptoms?

• Internet history composed primarily of Facebook photo albums of one particular girl.
• Modified, oftentimes inconvenient paths to class to increase the odds of run-ins with this particular girl.
• Over-exaggerated eye rolls from friends upon mentioning her name due to excessive referencing of her.

Whether it’s a romantic interest or just a friend, watching a girl you care about date a dude you don’t think is right for her can be an awkward experience. They get so lovey-dovey it makes you cringe. She blabs about how great he is so much you can’t help but gag. You think they’re a terrible fit and it won’t stop bothering you. So how do you deal?

Dear Overly-Attached Boyfriend,

We’re only doing this because we care about you, but this is an intervention. On behalf of everyone else in your life, you might be too attached to your girlfriend.

It happens so easily that it’s hard for anyone to blame you. Spending time with her is so much fun. How could anyone expect you to keep track of the fact that you haven’t seen your friends in weeks or that even your family dog is having trouble recognizing you?

It’s just so awesome when someone finds you sexy or when she laughs at your stupid jokes. Something inside you melts when you gaze at her eyes or her smile. Everything feels so new, so intense and so overwhelmingly wonderful. Who would ever want you to do anything without her?

We would. And that’s why we’re telling you this.

When you’re always with her you lose track of who you are without her. You might not recognize that your other relationships are crumbling and that your friends and family are feeling neglected. Furthermore you’re starting to isolate yourself from others in an unhealthy way, one that will come back to haunt you if you and your girlfriend ever break up.

This is a problem that lots of guys fall into when they’re first falling in love. One of your buddies might bring it up teasingly but you brush it off because it sounds like a joke. Your parents might nag you for it but what aren’t they bugging you about? There’s no real way to know exactly when it becomes a problem. So you’ve got to stay on your toes and be proactive about it.

No one is asking you to block off time with her and others into a calendar like your dating life is a continuation of your class schedule. We just want you to have a healthy balance. So starting this instant you’re on a relationship diet. Crash diets never work, so we’re not advocating you simply take a break from her and think that’s fixed things. Instead, make it your goal to include more fruits and veggies—think of “fruits and veggies” as “time with family and friends”—and  try to cut back a little on all the dessert—gorging on time with your girl every night. It’s all about healthier decisions for you and her. 

And definitely make sure you talk about your dating diet decision with your girlfriend. She should know why you’re thinking about changing things up with her and that getting more balance will ultimately make your relationship even better. Work out an agreement to stay strong but spend more time with other people. Say “yes” more to invitations from friends and family. Support one another when you make plans to spend time with someone else. Hang out as a couple around others but don’t be so grossly lovey-dovey when you do so. And most importantly check in often to make sure you’re both still getting what you need from the relationship. You want to be a strong couple but you want to be individual human beings as well.

Sincerely,

Everyone else in your life

Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant Number: 90-FE-0024. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.

Finally, Teen Mom is back to catch us up on the original cast—Farrah, Maci, Catelynn, and Amber—as they struggle with relationships, moving out, and the terrible-two’s. In case you didn’t catch the season premiere this week, here’s what you missed: