Your parents have probably said it to you a thousand times.  I love you.  Those three words seem like no big deal as you’re leaving for school.  Those three ‘little’ words, however, don’t feel so little when saying it for the first time in a romantic way.  Speaking that phrase aloud to someone can somehow be terrifying and exciting at the same time.  It feels like a really big deal.  And it is.  

The first relationship you have that doesn’t begin on the playground is exhilarating. First kisses, first dances together, and maybe even the first time you’ve changed your Facebook relationship status. With all those firsts, dropping the L bomb can seem like a natural step to take. There’s no doubt that saying it can be fun in the moment and even better is hearing it said back to you. You might feel like it’s just the logical next thing in the relationship, but you have to be careful. Those words can change a relationship. At first the L bomb makes your feelings more exciting and sweet, but at the same time it undoubtedly makes the relationship more serious. That means when you have a fight you’re not just fighting with your boyfriend or girlfriend; you’re fighting with someone who claims to love you.

It’s helpful to think of the L bomb as if it were a physical act like your first kiss with each other. It’s similar in many ways:

• It’s something you may want to do right away, but it’s important that you wait for the moment when you are both ready.
• You shouldn’t waste your first L bomb on someone who you know is no good for you.
• It affects everything else in your relationship especially the way you communicate.
• You should never say it just to get something in return.
• Sadly, it means that when and if you do break up it will hurt all the more.

When I was in high school I dated a guy that rushed it. He told me he loved me after only a few months of being together and that relationship ended quickly. I wasn’t ready and he was too eager to move our relationship forward. The first time I said it, I meant it. We were both ready to take that step together and that made it one of the most romantic moments of my life. That’s how it should be.

It’s often said that girls give sex to get love and guys give love to get sex. I wish I didn’t have a million stories of friends and friends of friends to back that up, but I do. All too often you see girls give in to pressure because some guys says those three words. After he dumps her, she’s left to wonder if he really meant any of it. That’s not to say that every teenage guy is a liar, but it does mean that teenagers have to be especially careful when making the emotional commitment. It should never be about any reward.

With all that said, it should be said that it’s no coincidence that practically every song on the radio is about love. It’s an amazing feeling. If it doesn’t happen when you’re a teenager, don’t stress. It will happen and like anything great in life—it’s worth the wait.

Have you ever dropped the L bomb? Was it well received? Did you ever say it and then wish you didn’t? Tell us about it in the comments!

Amelia is a recent American University graduate and an intern at The National Campaign. She enjoys speaking in a fake British accent, dressing up for no particular reason, and watching Parks and Recreation. Have a question for Amelia? Email us!