October is Let's Talk Month

We all have questions...why is the sky blue? When can I get my learner's permit? Why are my parents so incredibly embarrassing? But some questions are a little harder to ask...how do I know if I love him? When will I know that I'm ready for sex? What kind of birth control is right for me...and how do I get it? 


Who do you go to to get trusted information on sex, love, relationships, and dating? Well, if you're reading this article, you're on the right track...Stay Teen is a great resource for all kinds of info. But this month, we want to challenge you to do a little more. 

October is Let's Talk Month--a full month dedicated to getting you and your parents talking about all kinds of things. Freaking out at the idea of asking your parents about sex? Don't.  Even though this is one of the most stressful topics you can bring up with your mom or dad, good communication is an important first step to building trust. And when your parents trust you, life is a lot easier.

So how can you start the conversation?

 

  • Be understanding. Consider that your parents are probably stressed out and maybe a little embarrassed, too. Go easy on them...they mean well and want what's best for you. Know that this is a hard conversation to have and try to be gentle. Reassure them that, while you are curious, you aren't sexually active (unless you are--don't lie!) and asking about certain things doesn't necessarily mean you're doing them.
  • Be patient. If they're uncomfortable, change the subject, or seem unwilling to talk, gently try to return to your question despite their efforts to avoid the subject. They may just need some time to get used to the idea that you're curious about sex and trying again later or repeatedly asking--in a calm, non-agressive manner--will ease them into the conversation.
  • Be realistic. Your parents may never be open to having a conversation with you about this; that's a bummer but it doesn't mean you're out of luck. Do you have a trusted relative, older family friend, or school counsellor who you can speak with? If not, continue visiting websites with good, solid info like Stay Teen, Advocates for Youth, or Healthy Teen Network. Many communities also have local sexual health organizations that might be able to help you out, so don't be afraid to Google for more info! Search things like "Pittsburgh teen pregnancy prevention" or "sexual health in Spartanburg."

And remember, Stay Teen is always here to help. If you have a question that you just can't get answered anywhere else, email us and we'll do our best to help you out!

WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON MARCH 28, 2014 AT 8:15 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Hi I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 15 he asked me if he could come to my house but I have never had a boy come to my house just for me and what if my mom says no and should I tell my dad. Me and my boyfriend used to date 2 years ago but what should I do?

ON MARCH 4, 2014 AT 10:21 AM, MIRANDA SAID:

SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE IM READY TO HAVE A BABY. I FEEL LIKE IM READY TO BE A MOM. BUT IM SO YOUNG AND NOT PREPARED. WHAT DO I DO?

ON FEBRUARY 27, 2014 AT 3:54 PM, ANONYMOUS CHICK SAID:

So im black and Hispanic and I want to try something new , dating wise, so I want to try to date white guys , but im not sure if they will be into me, so should I date white guys?

ON JANUARY 13, 2014 AT 1:05 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm fifteen and I don't know if I should start dating, and if I do, how do I do it?

ON DECEMBER 16, 2013 AT 1:51 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I am ready to have sex with my bf but he doesnt seem as interested as I do. What can be done about it to get him more interested in sex, I thought most guys wanted it but he doesnt seem like most guys.

ON DECEMBER 8, 2013 AT 5:36 PM, MICHELLE SAID:

My boyfriend and I had sex when we were 14. Now I'm questioning the relationship and really with I would have waited, girls out there wanting to have sex.. If you have any moral values I suggest that you wait until marriage. I thought this guy was the one, but he's not now and he took my virginity. You can't get it back, ladies.

ON DECEMBER 2, 2013 AT 12:37 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm 17 and my boyfriend is also 17 I lost my virginity at the age of 16 on my birthday and I can honestly say for you to wait, anyways yesterday me and my partner had sex for the first time he was still a virgin, he seemed to really like everything and it may just be me over reacting and my anxiety at work but I can't help but over analyze everything and feel horrible about taking his virginity what should I do?

ON NOVEMBER 19, 2013 AT 11:53 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

My boyfriend wants to have sex, but I'm not ready yet. But what if I say i'm not ready and he breaks up with me? We had a date to have sex and thank god he couldn't make it, but whats going to happen the next and he can make it? I'm not ready yet, but I'm not ready to lose him neither!

ON NOVEMBER 12, 2013 AT 1:28 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm 19, my boyfriend and I use a condum but thats the only prevention. My period is a week late. I know that your period can come late if you're really stressed, but not getting my period is making me stressed. Its never been this late before. If I am pregnant, I dont know what I'll do...

ON NOVEMBER 10, 2013 AT 5:52 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

im scared to get pregnant , but my boyfriend keeps telling me nothings going to happen, and one thing i really dont wanna do is end up on any pills.. what do i doo :(

ON NOVEMBER 8, 2013 AT 6:55 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

im 19 and i have always wanted to be a teen mother i wanna have a baby by the time im 20 but other times no . when do you know when its the right time to get pregnet ???

ON OCTOBER 30, 2013 AT 6:50 PM, C SAID:

All my other friends are excperiencing sex and I feel as if I should what should I do? I am tempted to try

ON OCTOBER 24, 2013 AT 12:34 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Whatever you decide to do, just remember it is much easier to change a condom than to change a diaper!!!

ON OCTOBER 23, 2013 AT 6:48 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

how can u have sex without being pregeant?

ON OCTOBER 22, 2013 AT 8:32 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I'm 14 and my boyfriend just turned 15. We've been dating for two months and we've NEVER kissed! We've never had our first kiss before, but he says he wants to kiss senior year! That's like, three more years away! He's sweet and smart and I just love him!! <3
Lol, aaaanyway, do you think he'll change his mind? Or does it really matter When I get a first kiss?

ON OCTOBER 21, 2013 AT 9:01 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

My bro is in denial that he is a bully to my other brothers in the house. He says that he's a Provoked Bully ,though and that's not true. I give him examples but then he says that he doesn't remember doing that but he does remember doing this or he doesn't know why he did it.
Example: My older brother was walking up the stairs and then then my younger bro decided to jump at my older bro like he was going to punch our older bro. He denies being mean though that action is constantly perceived as intimidation.

He's 15 years old and very smart. How can I get him to get out of denial that he's a bully when he all of a sudden doesn't remember doing this or that?

ON OCTOBER 20, 2013 AT 9:34 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

my boyfriend is 15 im 13 im also moving back to Arizona and he wants a long distant relationship do you think it will last

ON OCTOBER 20, 2013 AT 9:30 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

im 13 and my boyfriend is 15 im moving back to my home town and we were talking about having sex and I don't know if im ready what should I do

ON OCTOBER 18, 2013 AT 8:45 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

I have already had the 'talk' with my parents and even my boyfriend pitched in about how he wont make me do anything I don't want to. Now I am underage to have sex and he is legal, but I really want to try things with him and if they lead to sex and im ready id go there. Is it a bad thing that im thinking about having sex with my boyfriend when he could go to prison for it?

ON OCTOBER 14, 2013 AT 2:17 AM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

Thanks

ON OCTOBER 13, 2013 AT 7:26 PM, JESSICA SAID:

what if my parents doesn't like the guy should i still date him?

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