The Fashion Advice I Wish I Had at 15

 

There’s nothing more annoying than being told what to wear.  When I was 15, if my mom or dad (or anyone else) told me that what I was wearing was too revealing I would roll my eyes and tell them to get a life: Seriously? Stay out of my business and find something more productive to worry about.  

 

If I’m honest about it now though, there is some fashion advice that could have been useful for me to hear. After all, my fashion motto was the tighter, the shorter, and the more low cut the better. And in retrospect, there are a few things I wish I had considered before walking out of the house:

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. So you’re not a little girl anymore, and if you want to, you can look really sexy. But just cause you can put on clothes and makeup that make you look 20, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should.

It’s not your job to be a sex object. It can be confusing because every time you open a magazine, turn on the TV, or watch a music video, it seems that all the awesome stars we admire are dressed in virtually nothing. It certainly sends the message that, as women, it’s part of our job to look sexy. But that’s just not right. We don’t have to look sexy at all, and that’s totally fine. Your sexuality is such a personal thing that you have to negotiate on your own terms. You don’t have to be wearing really revealing clothes…even if a lot of your idols are.   

Consider that maybe you’re not ready to look so sexy. Not only is it not your job to be a sex object, it’s especially not your job to look like one now. You’re a teen! Have fun being a teen—there’s no need to rush growing up (trust me on this one!). It doesn’t feel good to be rushed into more responsibility than you’re ready for. You know how you spend a lot of time thinking about when you might be ready to kiss a guy, date a guy, or even do more? Well you should think about whether or not you’re really ready to dress in a revealing or mature way. And if you’re not, that is so okay!

Own who you are. It’s really fun to play around with fashion, different clothes, hairstyles, and expressing yourself through what you look like. But figure out what YOU really want to be wearing. It doesn’t have to be the same stuff that your friends are, the outfit Rihanna wore to that event last week, or what’s in the window of stores at the mall. Take time to figure out the kind of clothes that feel good for you, and the kind of image that YOU really want to present. After all, being told what to wear is no fun…whether it’s coming from your parents or the TV!

Do you feel pressure to dress a certain way? Tell us what you think!

 


Amber Madison has been writing about sex, love, and relationships since college (she went to Tufts University) when she wrote for her school newspaper's sex ed column. Since graduating, she's published two books: Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality and Talking Sex With Your Kids and has been quoted in a ton of different media outlets from Seventeen magazine to MTV to NPR. Have a question for Amber? Send us an email!


WHAT OTHER TEENS ARE SAYING:

ON JUNE 11, 2013 AT 8:17 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i personally see that it is WRONG for girls ( im a boy but i see it is wrong for girls to wear shorty shorts ) to wear shorty shorts... its gonna have a negative influence on one another. in life... its not right and its very inappropriate...no offense.. im just saying...

ON MAY 1, 2013 AT 1:43 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

so true to be honest my aunt is where I go for my fashion advice it would be my mum but well she passed away when I was 12 (I'm 16 now) and I often wish my mum was around to give me fashion advice

ON APRIL 2, 2013 AT 10:15 AM, VANESSA SAID:

I agree 100%, I was caught in a bad situation with my cleavage always showing my freshman year of high school. Other kids started to talk about me... And say I wasn't a virgin! (Which I was) & I got aton of un-wanted attention for guys who were older...

ON NOVEMBER 26, 2012 AT 5:59 PM, ZARA SAID:

I dress in what makes me feel comfortable regardless of what other people think. I have tops that I feel are too short, but my mom thinks are fine and vice versa. I don't really pay attention to fads because if I wouldn't have picked it out myself before, it being popular won't change it. I basically just wear what I'm ready for without worrying about fitting into convention.

ON NOVEMBER 20, 2012 AT 3:42 PM, BETH SAID:

I think that you should wear what makes you feel comfortable but at the same time something appropiate for your age.Besides parents only act the way they do when we wear something trashy because they love you not because they want to run your life.

ON OCTOBER 15, 2012 AT 12:47 PM, KATHERINE SAID:

I feel like i want to look sexy, but at the same time i dont want ot look trashy. i think its kind of hard to evaluate what too sexy is and what enough sexy is

ON SEPTEMBER 22, 2012 AT 3:38 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

jus be you and do't worry about what others think ..... !!!

ON AUGUST 23, 2012 AT 3:58 PM, ALTHEA SAID:

I feel a little pressured to wear something that is apropriate cause a few months ago at school, the principal gave an anouncement regarding dress code. Girls shouldn't wear short-shorts, shirts that reveal clevage or skirts that are wayyyyyyy above our knees.

ON JULY 26, 2012 AT 5:28 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

so true, my mom always told me, u dress the way u wanted to b treated, if u put urself out there ina reaviling way, tht's way you r going 2 b treated.

ON JULY 9, 2012 AT 11:30 PM, ANONYMOUS SAID:

i think you should wear what makes you feel comfortable. not whatever everyone else is wearing..

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